#i added a break in my response since this ask was already rather long

[sashaisready]

The Blood Pact: Chapter 3 - Gotcha

Bucky Barnes Vampire AU x Female Reader

Reeling from a bad break-up, you're desperately trying to find a new place to live but the Brooklyn rental market is a complete nightmare. You take a chance on an intriguing newspaper ad and enquire about a room in a shared house, where you'd be living with two mysterious men. The catch is that they want something other than your money for you to pay the rent...the one thing they don't have

Warnings: More descriptions of vampire feeding/blood drinking - also reader is kinda *into it*, if you catch my drift, so just a heads up! And Bucky is a MENACE in this chapter. A little shit.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 4

And so it began. 

You had signed a contract to live with Steve and Bucky in their beautiful house - all for the tiny sum of access to your blood a few times a week. An unusual arrangement, sure, but needs must.

Wanda was delighted that you’d found a new place. Obviously she wasn’t privy to the exact details of the contract, but she didn’t need to be. You wouldn’t want to worry her, after all. And you weren’t sure how you could tell her without sounding utterly insane. She helped you move one afternoon, hauling boxes up the stairs as she gasped at the beauty of the house. You had explained your roommates were ‘at work’ so you had free rein of the place. 

“And how much are you paying for this room again?” she asked, admiring the shower as you unpacked your toiletries and cosmetics.

“Errr like…700?” you offered noncommittally.

“$700 for a double room and your own bathroom in BROOKLYN?” she shrieked, her long red locks swaying as she shook her head in disbelief. “Are they aware you’re practically stealing from them?”

“They work in antiques so are pretty wealthy already” you shrugged nonchalantly, hoping your casual tone would get her off the subject. “I don’t think they really need the cash, it just helps offset the bills and stuff”.

“Are they hot?” she asked cheekily, elbowing you in the ribs.

"Wanda!” you exclaimed, laughing as you moved back into the bedroom and grabbed your clean sheets. “…yes” you relented, dressing the bed.

Wanda screeched and grabbed the corner of the sheet to help, lining it up with the mattress as she giggled.

“So what, are they together or…”

“No, just close friends” you explained, picking up the duvet cover. “They’ve known each other since they were kids. Practically brothers”.

Wanda nodded as she diligently flipped the duvet into the covers. “So, which one d’you want?”

You laughed. “God, you are the horniest woman on earth…”

Wanda giggled, curtseying in response. You playfully tossed a pillow at her.

“Neither. I don’t think sleeping with my roommates slash landlords is likely to end well”.

You kept your eyes trained on the sheets, hoping Wanda wouldn’t notice you flushing as you thought about Bucky. You hadn’t stopped thinking about him since that night…his mouth on your skin and-

Wanda just rolled her eyes. “Spoilsport”. 

🩸

It didn’t take long to establish a routine of sorts at the house.

Steve and Bucky slept all day rather than ‘working’ of course. They really did work in antiques, but did most of their work at night and had several mysterious assistants who would come and go throughout the day, collecting and dropping off parcels for the business. You just left them to it.

Steve had told you that they had both been turned sometime during World War II, and acquiring antiques was pretty easy after the world had collapsed. They set up a business easily, building a small fortune as they used their earnings to buy more items cheaply and sell for a profit once society started to stabilise again. Over the years they settled in Brooklyn with different aliases and business names, doing most of their sales by mail and cheque – or cash transfers now that the times had moved on. The small percentage of face to face selling happened via their assistants, so no long term customers would wonder why their antique dealers never seemed to age…

They had bought the townhouse in the fifties for a good price - quickly paying it off. No mortgage meant they didn’t need much money to get by in human society, and the little business they did more than covered that. They carefully switched identities when needed and were cautious that the neighbours barely saw them. Not that they had many neighbours nowadays, as most of them were wealthy types whose Brooklyn home was just one of many in their large property portfolios. Others rented theirs out to ever changing tenants, nobody staying long enough to have any suspicions about their quiet, antique dealer neighbours. After decades of practice, they had mastered the incognito thing.

Steve didn’t tell you any details about how they were turned, and you didn’t pry – it felt strangely personal to ask. They’d share if they wanted to.

Your landlords’ nocturnal habits meant the house was all yours in the daytime. You worked from home, sitting at your computer reviewing articles and proofreading for your clients – occasionally padding to the kitchen for tea and snacks. Your roommates didn’t eat, so you had as much fridge and pantry space as you needed – bar the occasional blood bag from one of their trades. They let you open the shades, but asked that you close them again by sunset – just in case. 

You’d tested just how deep they slept, starting small by playing some quiet music in your room – gradually getting louder and louder over a few days, but there wasn’t a peep from the next floor.

You tried shouting or singing loudly, but they didn’t stir. You had clumsily dropped a pan one afternoon, it clattered loudly on the kitchen floor and echoed through the silent house as you winced – expecting a cranky vampire to emerge in the doorway and chastise you for waking them. But there was still nothing. 

Once when you were feeling particularly bold, you’d even run up their stairs and banged on their doors – but the silence remained. It seemed that when they slept, no sound would wake them. You could do whatever you liked, which was very freeing. You just didn’t go into their rooms, just as they didn’t go in yours without asking, mutually respecting each other’s privacy.

Steve was the perfect roommate. Sweet, chatty, asking you about your day and how work was. You would often forget about his supernatural origin. He was just a normal guy…who happened to feast on human blood. Sometimes you’d rib him playfully about his age and tease him for posting the ad in the newspaper of all places, but it was all very good natured and well meaning.

Bucky on the other hand��was a little more complex. He seemed to revel in making you uncomfortable, wanting to embarrass you. He was often patronising and condescending, teasing you when you didn’t understand something or asked what he deemed to be a stupid question. It had none of the lightness of your jokes with Steve. He had little patience for you not understanding the intricate ins and outs of their world – as if this wasn’t all brand new to you. You had a feeling he liked to rile you up, maybe it excited him to hear your blood pumping as you lost your temper.

You hated to admit it to yourself but you still felt that pull towards him. He was entrancing, as much as you began to loathe him you found you just couldn’t stay away. It was infuriating. 

At first you had just put up with it, rolling your eyes and biting your tongue. But the teasing became more intense, and you’d shared a few terse words here and there when you started to fight back. Steve would sigh, reluctantly stepping into his role as the peacemaker as he separated you both and talked you down. You couldn’t explain it, but found yourself enjoying your little sparring sessions, the quiet exhilaration in your belly when you’d exchange insults back and forth. The way his eyes seemed to shine with excitement when you gave as good as you got felt intoxicating. 

God only knows what this said about your psychological state…

The feeds were going well. Your sessions with Steve were more muted, you felt a slight warm fog cloud your mind during his, but it was nothing like that first time with Bucky which had felt like taking some sort of drug. Steve’s turns were pleasant enough, but he was all business. He only fed from your wrist, thought the thigh was a bit much. He didn’t touch you any more than he had to, getting in and out as efficiently as possible. He was polite and pleasant, apologising for any pain and thanking you profusely afterwards as he bandaged you up. They each had a little first aid kit they’d use to clean your wounds after the feed. It all felt quite transactional, but that was fine by you.

Bucky’s feeds were…not like Steve’s. His days brought you a mix of excitement and anxiety as you waited for evening to come around. He would often berate you for not being ready, or for having a messy room. He liked the thigh almost exclusively and would take his time finding the ‘perfect spot’, his cool fingers running languidly over your skin as he searched for a vein he wanted. You would hike your shorts up and lie back on your bed, your teeth digging tightly into your bottom lip as you suppressed any accidental moans. He must’ve known what he was doing. His lips would hover over his chosen area and just as you thought he was ready, he would drag them further along and land elsewhere. The edge of his fangs would scrape delicately across your flesh, tickling you perfectly. Sometimes he did this over and over, edging you and dragging it out before apologising insincerely for his error. 

Then he’d plunge his fangs in without warning, you never knew if he was about to bite or was still choosing where to go, so it caught you off guard each time. After the initial burn, that familiar haze would flood your senses again and you’d lay back and close your eyes. It was like a high you’d never experienced anywhere else, balling your fists as you gently whimpered under your breath. Sometimes you’d hear him moaning as he fed, your hips squirming as you were pinned under him. You knew that you were sopping wet between your legs each time, desperate to grind yourself into him. You wondered if he knew it, too.

You didn’t really understand why it made you feel the way it did. You were quietly ashamed that you enjoyed it so much.

Afterwards he’d get to his feet, grinning down at you as he took in your spent form. You’d watch him through heavy eyelids, too dazed to throw back any retort to whatever little sarcastic comment he made. Then he’d apply the bandage delicately, often taking slightly too long to withdraw his hand from you once he’d finished.

One evening it all came to a head. You were cooking in the kitchen as Steve and Bucky chatted at the table about a business deal. This was becoming pretty typical, you would cook and eat and they would catch up – talking about work or asking about your day (more Steve than Bucky, of course). Then you’d head upstairs with whichever of them was feeding that night. You preferred doing it in your bedroom as you still felt tired afterwards and liked being comfortable on your bed. Steve assured you that the fatigue would lessen over time, and he was correct – you could already feel yourself getting more alert after each one.

“...Yeah you’re right” Bucky sighed as Steve showed him an email on his phone. “It’s just the client wasn’t a fan of those vases and-”

He was interrupted by a sharp scream from the stove area. They both jumped to their feet as they turned to look at you. You were clutching your finger and gritting your teeth, grabbing at kitchen towels. You’d nicked the tip slightly when cutting vegetables, a drop of bright red blood seeping through the wound as you held the towel up to it.

“You okay?” asked Steve, his voice concerned.

“Yeah, sorry, it’s not deep it just surprised me-” you started to explain. But then stopped in your tracks when you saw Bucky.

He looked…wild. His eyes no longer resembled the cyan blue ones you’d gotten to know over the last few weeks. They seemed darker, colder. You couldn’t find a drop of humanity in them. His mouth was curled into a snarl as he stalked towards you at speed like a hunter.

You began to scream, shrieking as you held your arms out to stop him. “W-wait Bucky no! Stop-”

But it was too late. His arms enveloped your torso and his fangs were bared and you felt your legs give out, paralysing you with fear as you fell against the counter, only staying upright from his crushing grip. You screamed again as you saw Steve soar towards you both, your heart thumping in your chest as tears began to stream down your cheeks. This was it. The end of you. How foolish you’d been…why on earth did you think this was a good idea…

And then…Bucky laughed.

He laughed and released you, his fangs retracting and his eyes shifting back to the ones you recognised. You stared at him incredulously.

“Gotcha” he smirked mockingly.

“Goddamn, Buck…” Steve sighed with exasperation as his body relaxed. “That’s not funny. You had me going too. I was about to jump you”.

You gawped at him, unable to grasp what has happening as your breathing finally went back to normal and the tears stopped.

“That was…a joke?” you asked in disbelief, your voice hoarse from the screams.

Bucky just winked. “Oh come on, humans used to have better senses of humour, I swear…”

You gasped, the remnants of your fear transforming into unmistakeable rage. You clenched your jaw, your hands becoming fists as the full weight of what he’d done began to sink in.

“You think I’d really lose it over a tiny drop of your blood? You must think pretty highly of yourself, Doll” he mocked.

“You…fuckin’-” you whispered. You rocketed towards him, your temper well and truly lost. No rationality remained. You pummelled his chest with your fists, trying to shove him – but he was like a brick wall, you couldn’t even nudge him.

“You think that’s funny?” punctuating each sentence with a finger prodding into his chest as you looked up at his smirking face. “You ASSHOLE. You think it’s funny to pull shit like that? Make me look stupid? Scare me? For kicks?” you shouted.

You could faintly hear Steve trying to calm things down, but his words were lost in the blur of your anger.

You hit Bucky again but he didn’t even flinch. “Is that meant to hurt me?” he asked sweetly, clearly loving every moment of this.

You inhaled deeply, swinging for him again with your injured hand. The pain long forgotten. He effortlessly grabbed your forearm and stopped you before your fist could make contact. He looked deep into your eyes as he squeezed his fingers around your wrist. Then, as he held eye contact, he quickly moved your cut finger between his lips, sensually moaning as he gently sucked the blood from the tip. 

That was the detonator. You went completely off the deep end, screaming and throwing kitchen utensils at him as you lost your final shred of self-control. Bucky just continued his trademark smirk. A drinking glass got caught in the crossfire, shattering at your feet when Steve finally stepped in.

“Alright, that’s enough. Both of you” he said sternly, hooking his arms under your shoulders and dragging you across the kitchen. You squirmed in his grasp, protesting, as he planted you as far away from Bucky as possible.

“You’re going to get hurt with all this broken glass” he chided, like a parent scolding their child. 

You finally relented, crossing your arms and huffing as you turned away from both of them. 

“And you” Steve angrily chastised Bucky. “That was too far”.

You couldn’t see Bucky’s face but you would bet good money that he didn’t show contrition for his actions.

Steve turned his attention back to you. “Why don’t you go upstairs and cool off? I’ll finish cooking your dinner and bring it up, okay?”

You nodded sullenly as you calmed down. “Thanks…but...um…can you even cook?”

You didn’t look at Bucky but heard him scoff. You ignored it.

Steve chuckled. “I may not eat, but yes I can cook. I used to be human, remember? I’ll finish up and bring it to you”.

You nodded again. “Thank-you Steve. I’m sorry about the glass, I’ll replace it”.

He smiled in response. “Don’t worry about it, we’ve got a bunch”.

You smiled back, grateful for his kindness. You turned to Bucky.

“Tonight’s your feeding night, so I hope you enjoyed that little taste because you’re not getting anything else from me this evening” you spat.

Bucky just grinned and licked his lips. “Delicious”.

You turned on your heel and left the kitchen, slamming the door behind you. You took a moment to adjust again, taking a deep breath. You couldn’t believe you had lost it like that, embarrassed to have let them see you in that way. Normally you were very calm and collected, it took a lot to truly upset you. But that just seemed to be the effect Bucky had on you. He got under your skin like nobody else you’d ever met. You decided you would apologise to Steve again properly when he brought your food up.

You sighed, mentally shaking it off as you went to go to your room, but stopped when you heard voices in the kitchen. You couldn’t help but listen in, straining to hear what they were saying.

“What the hell were you thinking?” asked Steve. You could hear the sounds of the broken glass being picked up and placed on a surface.

“What? She freaked out! How was I supposed to know she couldn’t take a joke?” Bucky replied aghast, as if he was the maligned party. 

You rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to storm in and have it out with him again.

“Don’t play dumb. We both know what you’re doing” Steve scolded.

“Well, what am I doing?”

“Playing with your food”.

“It’s just a bit of gentle ribbing…relax. It’s fun.” Bucky sighed.

“You’re not supposed to get that close to her. You know that. For her sake. This is a professional arrangement. She’s not your plaything”.

You raised an eyebrow. Is that really all they saw you as? Just dinner, something to play with? Well...they were right of course. That’s what you were to them. It was why you were here. But you were also a person. Not just a blood bank. And what did Steve mean by close? Bucky certainly wasn’t getting close to you, if anything he hated you…

…didn’t he?

“It’s strictly professional. Nothing more” Bucky countered.

“Good. As we’ve always said, boundaries are important here.” Steve replied. “And would it kill you to be a bit nicer to her? She’s actually pretty sweet. It may be professional but there’s no reason we can’t all get along”.

Bucky sighed. “Fine. I’ll apologise. I’ll go up and see her”.

“Not tonight” Steve warned. “She was mad as hell, let her cool off - she’s probably up there making a stake for you right now”.

They both laughed.

“Okay…You’re right. But I’ll talk to her, I promise”.

“Good”.

“Also…what a firecracker. She has a mean right hook. Caught me off guard”.

“Yeah…I wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of her. Better you than me” laughed Steve.

The conversation shifted back to their work so you crept upstairs and slipped into your bedroom as quietly as you could. Your mind was spinning with everything you’d heard. Steve referring to you as ‘food’ and ‘plaything’ upset you more than you thought it would. It made you feel like an object, not a person. Like you were nothing more than another item in the house – the food source, no different to the refrigerator or the kitchen sink. Just something they needed. You didn’t need them to think of you as their best friend, but you didn’t want to be just dinner, either. You knew their age and experience probably meant you seemed naïve and green by comparison, a mere human, but you’d hoped they saw you as more than just a vein.

And Bucky’s admissions had confused you too. You knew he liked playing with you and riling you up, but what did Steve mean by ‘we both know what you’re doing’? What exactly was Bucky was doing?

You distracted yourself with finishing some work and texting Wanda when there was a knock on your door sometime later.

“Come in” you called. 

Steve stepped in, carrying your dinner on a tray with a glass of water. He smiled warmly as he placed it on your dresser.

“Thank-you for doing that. It smells great. God, Steve, I’m sorry…I behaved so poorly earlier. I shouldn’t have thrown shit and shouted, I apologise” you said bashfully. “You don’t need that in your home”.

Steve held up a dismissive hand. “No apology necessary. He was being an asshole, I would’ve hit him too – in your position”.

You grinned. “Doesn’t quite have the desired effect when you’re hitting someone with super strength or whatever”.

Steve laughed. “You had him on the ropes…”

You both sat in the silence for a moment as you got up to get your plate.

“Why is he like that?” you asked quietly, collecting the food on your fork.

Steve sighed. “He’s not always. I know you won’t believe me, and I understand why, but he can be a really good guy. He’s…been through a lot. I think sometimes he forgets where the line is”.

You nodded, wondering what Bucky had ‘been through’ exactly.

“Does he hate me?” you whispered.

Steve chuckled. “God, no. As stupid as it sounds, he wouldn’t enjoy torturing you if he did”.

You frowned as you ate. “Not confusing at all…”.

Steve nodded. “Zero argument here”.

You shared a smile and Steve got up to leave. “He’s going to apologise. And I’m sorry he scared you, that crossed the line. This is your home too, you should be comfortable here. I hope you know that we both want you here, even if it didn't feel like it tonight...”

“Thanks Steve”.

You felt more at ease now. Maybe Steve just saw you as food, but at least he was nice about it.

He winked and got up to leave.

“Steve…is he going to be okay tonight? Like…not eating at all?” you asked, slightly worried you were starving Bucky by denying his feed.

But Steve just chuckled, touched that you were concerned about Bucky even when he didn’t deserve it. 

“He’s a big boy, he’ll manage. He deserves to go hungry tonight. Besides, we still have a couple of extra bags in the icebox if he’s really desperate”.

“Refrigerator, Steve” you giggled.

“Right! That one. Sorry…40s stuff”.

Steve left you to it and you finished your meal, reading for a while before getting into bed for an early night. Sleep eluded you as you thought of Bucky and your fight, already nervous about facing him again tomorrow.

[monsta-x-jagi]

Crown and Chrome - Chapter 1

Synopsis: How you meet Kihyun for the first time, in the past and in the present when he comes back to you

Word count: 3.9k

Triggers: none

Author’s notes: MX members are all different ages, assume seasons occur like in the southern hemisphere

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Present

You glanced at the photo frames on Hyungwon’s desk as he looked over the papers you just handed him. Cherub cheeked smiling faces looked back at you, much like the round cheeks Hyungwon had. Hyungwon’s children, whom you had met several times and even bought Christmas presents for.

“Miss y/n, are you busy this weekend?” Hyungwon asked, without looking up from his papers.

“Aside from your party, no. Was there anything you needed?”

“Yes, actually,” he said, finally looking up at you. “Go on a date.”

You looked back at him, confused. “Oh um I wasn’t aware you were…”

“Of course it’s not for me,” he groaned. “It's for you. I want you to go on a date this weekend.”

You had a similar conversation with the two Mr Lees on the executive team. Currently, you three were milling about in the break room.

“Y/n, when are we getting invitations for your wedding?” Lee Minhyuk asked. 

“I don’t know, how much notice do you require?”

Minhyuk groaned and Lee Hoseok laughed at your reply. 

“Y/n, the only notice we’ve been getting is how badly your dates fail,” Hoseok said. 

“Yeah, y/n, live life a little bit,” Minhyuk said while he raised his coffee mug in a toast. 

Minhyuk and Hoseok had recently become architectural directors after being at your company for as long as you can remember. But in the time they climbed the corporate ladder, you jumped up several rungs when you inherited a majority share holding in MX Property Development. Prior to that, you were the head of legal affairs, but now you dealt with all the executive jobs your mother left you after she jetted off to the Seychelles or French Curacao or somewhere. 

Mr Son, another member of the MX executive team, drifted into the break room.

“Hi there y/n,” he said as he reached for some protein powder in a nearby cabinet.

“Damn, Hyunwoo, you’re hitting the gym that early today?” You asked as you pointed at the microwave clock.

Hyunwoo shrugged. “Yeah why not? Plus, if you join me, I could introduce you to someone who could be your date this weekend.”

You groaned. “Did Hyungwon tell everyone about that?”

Hoseok, the older of the two Mr Lees, laughed. “The entire executive team knows the only time you got close to marriage was looking at my son’s prenup.”

Minhyuk smirked and added, “And the time you hit on that fashion designer shamelessly after a meeting is probably the second closest you’ve ever been to marriage.”

“YAH!!!” You cried and smacked him. “I’ve been in long term relationships before, okay?”

Another voice floated to the break room as Hyungwon walked in. “With all due respect y/n, six months sleeping with some biker when you were nineteen is not a long term relationship.” 

The others in the room chortled loudly at that.

“You’re lucky my mother hired you, and not me,” you growled, even though you knew Hyungwon meant no harm.

“You can’t fire me anyways, when I’ve already handed in my retirement notice,” Hyungwon chuckled. “You better bring a date this weekend okay?”

“50 bucks says she doesn’t,” Minhyuk giggled and Hoseok muttered “deal” in response.

You rolled your eyes. “Sometimes I wonder if I should do some restructuring at this firm.” 

As you rode home that night, on your motorcycle, your mind wandered to thoughts about the biker Hyungwon mentioned. That biker was the man who ruined all other men for you. You first met him while walking through some of the outer piers at the harbour, lined with abandoned, rusting warehouses. He had refurbished one to use as his garage and tinker on bikes with. It had been several years since then, and the warehouses had been replaced by restaurants and a bustling marina which you (or rather your mum’s firm) owned after redeveloping it. The marina and some remnants of the old harbour could be seen from the windows in your office at MX Property Development. You’d be lying if you said you never stared out of the windows for extended periods of time.

Today, you stopped by your favourite restaurant at the marina. The business had changed owners a few times, but each owner and their staff got to know you quickly. They knew your usual order (hot chips with aioli, and keep it coming), and your favourite seat (by the window, in the westernmost corner). So naturally, you were ushered there, your food was brought out within minutes, and you began pondering what Hyungwon said today.

The Past

It was the summer after graduating high school, and you accompanied your mother on a site visit to an area she was considering redeveloping. You were tired of staying home doing nothing, and your university classes wouldn’t begin for another 3 months. While your mum spoke with surveyors, analysts and other stakeholders, you wandered off on your own, headphones in. You barely heard the sound of engines and wheels skidding somewhere in front of you, until you saw a boy with orange hair on a bike, with smoke coming from the tires. 

“Kihyun, we told you not to go so fast!” Someone called, and you saw two more boys running towards the orange haired Kihyun from inside one of the warehouses. 

Kihyun let out some heavy breaths, then his gaze fell on you. “We got company,” he said towards the warehouse entrance.

Two heads popped out, one with black hair and one with red hair in spacebuns.

You stared back at Kihyun, your head cocked to the side, studying him as he studied you. He wore black leather pants and some sort of faux leather jacket with various patches attached.

Kihyun looked at you in your pale pink sheath dress. Clearly, you didn't belong anywhere near here. 

“Hi, can I help you?” He asked as he got off his bike and approached you. 

You removed your headphones and stood still. 

“I promise I won’t hurt you,” Kihyun said. 

“I was just uhh walking around. I came here with some people, but then we got separated so uh yeah, here I am I guess?” You replied. 

You were smiling so sweetly and innocently that Kihyun almost forgot what he wanted to say next. But once he gathered himself, he asked, “Do you need directions back or anything?” 

You continued smiling and shook your head. “Nope, I am completely okay. My mum is probably busy with the investors anyways.” 

Kihyun nodded, not quite processing what any investors had to do with you visiting an abandoned warehouse. 

“Were you also supposed to be at that meeting today? You don’t exactly look like you’re dressed for work in these warehouses,” Kihyun asked, gesturing at you dress. 

“Oh right,” you said while absentmindedly smoothing the sides of your dress. 

Kihyun’s eyes followed the movements of your hands and he couldn’t help but notice the way the dress hugged your hips. 

“I’m just on vacation now before uni begins, and my mum thought it would be nice to take me to work with her since we all know I’ll end up working at her company in the end,” you explained. 

Kihyun slowly shook his head as he processed your words. “So your mum is the one who’s been buying up parts of this harbour?”

“Yeah,” you replied.

Kihyun watched as you lifted your hair from your neck and fanned yourself. Of course, it’s summer, the UV index is through the roof, and you’re standing in the sun.

“Hey uh, would you like to come in? The sun’s kinda warm,” Kihyun said, and gestured towards the warehouse. 

“Wow really? Thank you, that would be lovely,” you replied and walked past Kihyun to move inside.

Kihyun watched you with some confusion as he followed you in, your gait being strangely sure and confident. “I assure you we won’t hurt you. There’s some drinks in the fridge, feel free to sit by the fan.”

“That’s very kind of you, thanks,” you replied as you looked around the warehouse. 

Several bikes littered the space, some with their parts removed and lying on the ground. There was a faint smell of grease, and shelves filled with toolboxes and spare parts. 

“So you’re a mechanic,” you said, with a hint of awe in your voice. 

Kihyun came and stood beside you. “Yes. And you’re MX Development’s CEO’s daughter.” 

You hummed in agreement.

“Did you ever think its a bad idea revealing information like that to someone you just met?” Kihyun asked. 

When you turned to face him, Kihyun wondered if your doe eyes could possibly look more innocent.

“Well uhh, I can see why it would be bad but, everybody at school knew, and many people figure it out pretty quickly,” you replied. 

“Are you sure that’s not because you mention your mum’s job in the first few seconds of meeting someone?” Kihyun teased.

Your gaze turned sharper as you turned to face him. “Actually, it’s because I can provide decent property investment advice myself. I know how real estate markets work, and how property prices change with mining booms, migration, government policy and other things.” 

Kihyun smirked. “That’s impressive. Is that all on your resume then?”

You shook your head and a small pout formed on your lips. “No, I just have my school marks and the degree I’ll be studying.” 

“Which is?” Kihyun asked. 

“Law,” you replied. 

Kihyun didn’t ask anything more. He motioned for you to take a seat on a couch and headed to a fridge at the back of the studio. He returned a few seconds later with two chilled water bottles. He loosened the cap of one and gave it to you. You both silently took several sips as Kihyun sat on the opposite side of the couch to you.

“What about you then? I feel like motorcycle rider isn’t really a job,” you said.

“Do you think a job is all there is in life?” Kihyun asked.

You glanced up at the ceiling as if in thought. “Well, no, but you do spend a great deal of your life working, so it definitely contributes to a person’s character.” 

Kihyun chuckled and replied, “Well you’re right about that. I am a motorcycle mechanic actually, and this is where I modify my bikes for races and things.” 

“I thought that type of thing only happened in movies,” you mused more to yourself than him. 

“Something tells me there’s a lot of things you’ve only experienced in movies,” Kihyun smirked.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “What are you implying there?” 

“I wasn’t implying anything. I just think its funny that someone like you would be getting comfortable on my ratty couch.” 

The Present

The event you promised to bring a date to was Hyungwon’s retirement party. Held at the Four Seasons, your admin staff had invited the whole firm as well as some big names and allies in the industry. You wore a long sleeved pink dress that reached just above your knees, with your regular diamond hoop earrings that you wore daily since you were 20.

“So who’s replacing Hyungwon as your head of investments?” Somin from Kard Investments asked while you both served yourselves food from the buffet.

“Why? Tired of being just an associate?” You joked.

“Well, from what I gather, head of investment at MX pays just as much with less hours. It’s a good position,” Somin shrugged.

“So apply,” you replied. “I’m not joking, Somin. The position won’t necessarily be filled internally so you have a shot.”

Somin placed a hand on your arm, silently telling you to be quiet. She moved you to sit down at a table, and only spoke once you had both started nibbling at your food.

“The reason I asked is because a buddy of mine applied,” Somin said in a low voice. “He’s been making waves recently for bagging some good deals, but he’s always said he will end up at MX someday.”

“Huh, wonder what his story is,” you said as you started eating.

Somin glanced around the room as if checking whether someone was listening. “He said there was someone he knew at MX. And that he wanted to find her before it was too late.”

The Past

The second time you saw Kihyun was about a week after the first time. You were back at the harbour, though you didn’t come with your mother’s entourage. This time, you were mindful of any fast moving motorcycles as you made your way to the warehouse where you first met Kihyun. The door was partly open when you arrived, so you slipped inside.

“Ki-kihyun? You in here?” You called as you walked in side. You dropped your bag on the ratty couch you had sat on last week. The lights were on, and tools were scattered around like someone left in a hurry. You walked further in, until you saw a ladder leading to a loft. Perhaps against your best judgement, you climbed up to it, and found a neatly made bed and a table full of skincare products, including many of the brands you used. 

You heard the door to the warehouse being pushed open so you climbed down from the loft. A tall boy with yellow and orange hair was standing at the entrance. Did all of Kihyun’s friends have unnatural hair colours?

“Oh I haven’t seen you before,” the boy said. “Where did Kihyun go?”

“I don’t know, I was hoping you knew,” you replied, still not sure who this boy was.

“I don’t know, I’m not the one coming down from his loft,” the boy said with a shrug.

“Well you’re welcome to wait for him with me,” you said, and gestured to the couch. While he got comfortable, you went to the fridge to get a bottle of water for him like Kihyun did for you. 

When you returned with the water bottle and stood in front of the boy, he looked you up and down. “You don’t look like Kihyun’s type… you’re too pretty.” 

You rolled your eyes and shoved the bottle towards him. The boy smirked, nestling further into the couch and sitting with his legs spread wide. After a good gulp of water and a resounding gasp, he asked, “So how did you get involved with Kihyun?” 

“We uh crossed paths?” You offered. It was true in a literal sense.

“And now you’re so close he lets you up to his loft huh?” The boy smirked.

“No, we’re just acquaintances, it’s not like we do anything together,” you replied. “Honestly, I’m not even sure he likes me.”

The boy’s jaw dropped open. “Wow I never thought he was that kind of guy.”

“Why? What’s Kihyun like?”

The boy scratched his hair, looking a little confused. “He doesn’t really bring girls here. But he also isn’t the type to lead someone around like this.”

You stared at the boy for a few seconds before exclaiming, “Wait you thought we were dating?”

The boy made an annoyed face. “Well it’s never just fucking where Kihyun is considered.”

“Uh wow okay, good to hear,” you said, taking a step away from the boy, slightly taken aback by his language. You turned around, wondering whether you should pretend you needed to go to the fridge or something, but then you caught site of a motorcycle helmet clad figure in a familiar jacket covered in patches emerging from somewhere at the back of the warehouse.

“Princess, is everything okay?” Kihyun asked as he took off his helmet.

Your breath hitched at the pet name. You didn’t think it would have an effect on you, but you liked it. Still, why would Kihyun say that when he’d met you once?

Behind you, the fire haired boy was laughing. “I knew you could never just hook up, man. You’re already calling her princess.”

Kihyun walked past you to the boy, and said through gritted teeth, “I meant you, Princess Mingi. What are you doing in my garage? Were you hoping to find out what I’ve prepared for this weekend?”

Mingi placed the water bottle down and smirked. “Your girl doesn’t like being called princess? Why not? She’s very pretty.” 

Kihyun followed Mingi’s gaze to where you stood, fidgeting with your watch. Today, you were wearing denim shorts that were hidden beneath an oversized sweater, creating the illusion you had no pants on. It was hot, and Kihyun suddenly wondered if you’d look like that wearing his oversized clothes too.

Kihyun returned his attention to Mingi. “You should leave. I’ll see you this weekend.”

Mingi chuckled and got up. When he reached the door, he turned around and winked at you, then left.

Kihyun fluffed his hair and turned to face you, asking, “What can I help you with?” 

“Oh I was just in the area and wanted to say hello. I didn’t mean to intrude or anything, but then your friend came in and I talked to him for a bit,” you stuttered out, then added, “I will leave if this is a bad time.”

Kihyun sighed. “No, don’t, you can stay a bit, I’ll order us some pizza or something.” 

Kihyun joined you on the couch and handed his phone to you, indicating for you to pick what pizza you wanted. 

“So what did Mingi ask you?”

“How we met, our relationship status, things like that,” you said while scrolling Kihyun’s phone.

“He’s not my friend, just so you know,” Kihyun said. 

“Oh,” you let out. “Well I didn’t tell him anything sensitive. I just said we crossed paths, if that makes you feel better.” 

“No, don’t worry about it,” Kihyun said again with a sigh. 

You looked up from the phone at him. His shoulders were slumped, his head hung down.

“Is something bothering you? Is it me? I can leave if you want to be alone. I really just wanted to say hi while I was in the area,” you rambled.

Kihyun lifted his head up quickly. “What? No, nonono, it’s not that. It’s just that Mingi is my rival, and we’re racing this weekend.”

“Ah so you’re stressed. That’s okay, happens to the best of us,” you replied, handing the phone to Kihyun with your pizza choices inputted.

Kihyun hummed in agreement as he finished making the payment. After a beat, he said, “Next time you’re here, be careful okay?” 

“Be careful of what?” 

“Of who,” Kihyun corrected. “Not everybody who comes to this warehouse will treat you well. I know Mingi wouldn’t do something as disgusting as hurting you to get to me, but some bikers might. I don’t want you to run into someone like that.”

“Oh,” you let out meekly. “I never really thought about it that way.” 

“Honestly y/n, in the two times I’ve met you, I learned you never think about safety,” Kihyun said, and you couldn’t tell if he was disappointed in your behaviour or just concerned.

“Well, nothing has ever happened to me, so I just assumed what I am already doing keeps me safe,” you replied, a small pout forming on your lips.

“Mingi was right about you,” Kihyun said as he took in your adorable pout. “You really are a princess.” 

That word again. It made something clench inside you. You swallowed and asked, “Why am I a princess, Kihyun?” 

“Your life is peaceful. Your family own some of the most lucrative real estate in this state. You go to good schools, get good grades and buy nice things. People don’t have a reason to hurt you.” 

“Wow.” You said in shock. “Just wow.” 

“Was I wrong, princess?” Kihyun asked, emphasising the last word.

“Don’t call me that, it does something to me,” you said with a scowl. 

“I know. That’s why I said it,” Kihyun grinned. 

“Fuck you,” you muttered. “I am not a princess. You just shoved me into strain and opportunity theories on crime occurrence.” 

Kihyun blinked. “Crime? I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. You literally just explained why my life lacks strains conducive to criminality then linked it to the idea that crime is highly opportunistic,” you replied.

“Y/n, I’m still lost. Unlike you, I didn’t learn these things at school,” Kihyun said, his jaw tight. 

“Don’t worry, most people don’t. I learned this stuff myself,” you said with a proud smile. Kihyun thought it was cute. 

“Ah, so the princess has a library?” He teased. 

“Stahp!! I am not a princess, I do crazy things too,” you whined as you gently shoved his shoulder and laughed. 

“Really? Like what?” Kihyun asked intrigued. “What’s the craziest, wildest thing you’ve done?” He caught your hand on his shoulder and place it down on your thigh, holding it slightly longer than necessary.

You took a deep breath before answering. “What I have planned to do this weekend.” 

The Present

You and Somin finished eating quickly before going to mingle around. You approached your executive team who were all huddled up drinking. Minhyuk handed you his half finished bottle of beer when you joined. You briefly flashed him a look of annoyance but took it anyways. It wasn’t like you to pull rank to remind him you were his superior and weren’t going to drink his leftover beer. As the night went on, different figures approached Hyungwon to congratulate him and wish him well. A select few approached you to congratulate you on inheriting the CEO position, though it was something you had always expected your mother to do eventually. 

And even though you did not agree with most of the decisions your mother made for you, you weren’t stupid enough to pass up on decisions that would unilaterally benefit you.

“What are you staring at?” Hoseok asked. 

You didn’t realised you had been zoning out.

“Did someone catch your eye?” He asked while taking a sip from a soft drink can. 

When you didn’t reply, Hoseok followed your gaze to find a man with orange hair in a suit. The man’s back was to you, and he was talking quite animatedly with a group of investment bankers. Or so you assumed since the whole group was Kard Investments’ trading floor.

“Do you know him?” Hoseok asked you.

“No, but the hair…” you said, more to yourself than him.

“Oh for sure, he needs to get rid of that before he comes into work on Monday.”

“Monday?” You asked, eyes widening. 

“Yeah, didn’t Hyungwon tell you? That’s the guy that’ll take over for him,” Hoseok replied. 

“When did HR confirm that? Who did the hiring? Why wasn’t I notified?” You thought aloud. 

“Now those are all valid questions and best left to Hyunwoo. He met with the guy last week to finalise things so he knows him best,” Hoseok said. 

“So our new hire is from Kard?” You asked, nudging your chin towards the congregation of Kard traders.

“Yes, but you know what’s funny is that he’s always said he wants to work at MX,” Hoseok mused.

You and Hoseok stared after the orange haired man some more.

“I don’t suppose you happen to know his name?” You asked Hoseok.

“It’s Yoo Kihyun.”

[official-alan-dabiri]

This is just a bunch of bug fixes, and minor balance changes masquerading as bug fixes. A bunch of talents that could sometimes simply fail to work will now work all the time. A bunch of talents that could sometimes work too well will no longer do that. Probably.

But it's been so long since the last patch notes, I don't remember any of my gags. Who was I insisting the best tank was last time? Did I have a running joke about Chromie? How many times have they taken away Samuro's hearth trick now? Did Li Li have this many changes on the notes during her rework? Why did they say so many things about Sylvanas when it all basically comes down to a 2% overall damage nerf?

I honestly don't know how to do this job anymore. The last time we had a patch we were receiving the first operational images from the James Webb space telescope. And that was the "end of life" patch where they just changed the free hero rotation timeline and added the Epic Chaos Lizard Mount. The last time we had a real patch, we were still talking about the chess tournament butt plug thing.

I got sad and wistful for longer than I expected here. Me being a nerd under the cut.

What is there to say? A bunch of talented people poured their hearts and souls into a game. It was - and still is - a fantastic experience. Its production value is very high, it looks good, and it's fun to play. Those people did good work, and in response to that good work a community sprang up around it. And then that good work was squandered. The company neglected it. Forgot about it.

HotS is still a good game. You can still play it! You can still play it casually. You can still play it competitively. You can have deep thoughts about strategy and synergy. You can just point at a big chunk of orange polygons and call him Gary Heckyell. You can click meticulously around the map, making strategic use of creep wave manipulation tactics to win a statistically losing one-on-one lane matchup. You can click on a skin that puts a ridiculous - but beautifully rendered - costume on your favorite blizzard character and immediately blurt out loud "I'm so gay." You can find friends and enemies and mentors and students in the midst of a sincerely penned love letter to Blizzard's IPs. You can point out quite honestly and truthfully that the people who made HotS loved these characters more than anybody in charge of their respective IPs now.

I'm not gonna ask you to pour one out for HotS, and the hard work of the people who made it the best Blizzard game. If you were going to, you did that years ago. I'm not going to ask you to boot up HotS for another reminder of what those talented people gave us. Because if you were going to, you probably already did. If you loved the game like I do, and let it go rather than have it break your heart every week, you don't need me to pick at that scab.

But it's still here. Still kicking.

Except now Blaze's bunker isn't going to get one-shot by the Infernal Shrines Punisher anymore. And I think that's what really matters.

[crookedherringcolorclod]

Rejection over coffee? How cold. (Asa’s Pride Month Oneshot🏳️‍🌈!)

A/N: Hi guys! It’s been a while hasn’t it? Lost of stuff happened and I just kept on adding to the story just to make sure it was coherent. Other than that I’m kinda glad about how this oneshot turned out. I hope I did it justice since Asa should be the first oneshot because I seldom see AroAce rep in media.

“Thank you for accepting my invitation, Miss Sakamaki.”

The young lady walking by his side gave him a curt nod in response, stray blonde curls escaping from the small bun she tied on their way to the cafe, framing her face, “There is no need to thank me. You offered and I accepted your invitation.” He could not help but chuckle at her response, already familiar with how blunt she can still be, even after work. “It seems so. There is a coffee shop I’ve been going to frequently. Their coffee has a unique aroma that you might enjoy.” He ponders to her, taking her silence to continue talking.

She stops in her tracks. He almost didn’t notice. Just barely.

“Since when?” she asks, closing the distance between them.

He had already halted in place, breathing in the cold air and her much colder and authoritative tone, “A month, the café is thirty years old, it sits in an idle street, and they have few regulars.” The report left his lips easily, a practiced routine he has grown accustomed to when working with her. “How many of them are there?” she asks again, tilting her head to the side, not breaking her gaze on his face. “Seven, most of them are adults. They all arrive at the café at separate times. Only early to late noon.” He continues, ending his report with a sigh, the tension in his shoulders dropping.  

She looks up at him, craning her long neck just to continue pinning him under her gaze.

“So, they close early,” she remarks.

He already knows that she never looks to him for reassurance or comfort on the matter. n all the years they stood together, she never faltered, always carrying herself with ease, leaving no invitation for vulnerability. Solace was never something she looked for, not from him, at least. Or anyone, if he lets himself ponder further in the matter.

“Yes, that’s right. Shall we?” He averts his eyes from hers, feels as if he lets himself gape at her face any longer, his slow heart will race through his years.

It comes as no surprise to him or anyone in the Demon World or even the Human World for any matter, that Asa Sakamaki is beautiful, truly. The elegant kind that he would associate with classical paintings in museums he would visit, the kind of beauty he finds so lovely that it leaves him with almost nothing to say nor comprehend in his head.

All of this, yet he would not dare to say out loud or even attempt to preserve in paper and ink.

Whenever he tried, he would find himself faltering, just barely at the edge of risking it all.

He was afraid and still is. There was too much to lose.

It was his duty to report to her, to lend his hand in the most important, yet often overlooked task of ensuring that vampires remain a myth to the humans forever. 

To discard any traces left by their fellow kind, reckless as they are. Leaving any indication of their existence unattended for anyone with a brain to piece together.

He had sworn to her all those years ago and had intended to keep his promise, not letting a single piece of information slip from his grasp no matter how insignificant it seemed, to sort and sift one report at a time, as accurately as possible, to be laid out before her eyes to study.

He would have given Asa Sakamaki anything if she had asked.

Yet she had never asked for his heart. Nor his affections.

And yet, it’s still with her.

His heart leaps as a smile graces her face, a rare sight for him. “Lead the way.”

“You look rather anxious, are you alright?”

“No, I’m quite alright. Again, thank you for accompanying me, Miss Sakamaki.” he lied, he was nervous and surprised at both his ability to muster up the courage to invite his colleague over for drinks at a small café sparse of people and the fact that she even accepted his offer was something he would have never expected from her considering the amount of time she would dedicate to her work despite his efforts on aiding her on any of the smaller tasks. “I see, the pleasure is mine. If anything, I should be thanking you for inviting me since I seldom give myself the time to not work in the first place.”

A quiet laugh left his parted lips, taken aback by her unexpected quip. “Yes, I suppose you should, shouldn’t you?” he continued to chuckle until he coughed into his hand, attempting to compose himself before her. “Would you like something to eat, maybe drink first? I’ve had coffee here before and I enjoyed it ever since.” she nodded at his offer, “If you say so it must be right. I’ll just have coffee for now, thank you.”

He gave her a nod before standing up on his feet to give their orders to the young man behind the counter. “Yes, I’ll just have that, thank you. My companion and I will just have our orders over there.” The vampire points over to where Asa sits, face curtained by gold curls as she looks on by the window.

Curious, the young man followed who he had pointed to, and his brows raised. The young man remained quiet, speaking only to tell him that his order would be delivered in twenty minutes or less, much to the vampire’s relief. How he wished he had something to anchor himself as he found his way back to her, just a seat across from hers.

“Miss Sakamaki, Asa,” His voice hitches when he lets himself use her given name, “I have come to know you for a long time. We have worked together ever since you arrived in Japan,” under the Vampire King’s wing, he added in his head, though he could not find it in himself to bring it up to her, she would have motioned him to stop otherwise.

Or worse, she would have glared at him to silence.

Any vampire smart enough would have guessed why family is a sore subject for any Sakamaki.

Instead, he simply resorted to folding his hands together as his eyes met her’s again.

“Yes, we have, your support is and always has been appreciated,” she confirmed, her gaze now completely fixed on him, still polite and elegant with her hands neatly folded together. “Tell me, is there anything weighing in your mind?” she asks again, concerned, so easily he had to steel himself from impact. He let in a short breath before continuing, “I��� I’m sure that you would have guessed that I have thought highly of you over the decades. I admire you more than I could possibly say…” 

Her brow raised, then furrowed in confusion, “Hm?”

Although vampires have a pulse, it is weak, a stagnant river in comparison to the overflowing stream in a human’s veins, yet he felt like he was caught upstream, his eyes squeezed shut, close to drowning in his thoughts before he could tell her that-

“Sakamaki Asa, I wish to court you, if you would have me.”

The words left his lips before he could ever hope to take any of them back, the dam had already broken, spilling his affection and admiration like cards laid out for her to decide whatever she may do with it.

“This… Is this so?”

Her question rings in the café’s tranquil atmosphere, hushed by the blood rushing to his face.

Ringing in his head.

He tries to quell his dread, force his eyes to open, and look at her. It was the least she deserved, what he could offer after placing her into this predicament. Grasping onto hope that she never felt pressured or even obligated to say yes to him.

Yet here she was, still seated across from him, hands neatly clasped together, light sapphire eyes widened ever so slightly. Her cheeks did not flush red or pink, retaining their pale smooth surface since they stepped foot in the café, mush to his dismay. He fears that he won’t even receive a reply to give his heart any closure.

“I see…”

She pauses for a moment, leaving him waiting with bated breath.

“I cannot accept.”

The words washed over him as quickly as they had left him there in shock. Deafening him to the world around him with nothing to anchor him back to the reality he lives in.

It was over, wasn’t it? 

And so quickly too.

Maybe he shouldn't have told her.

How can he go to work the next day?

“…na… ta”

“…Hi…ta”

“Two coffees for Hinata Watanabe, correct?”

“Hinata’s” eyes darted toward the source of the voice calling for him, a waitress standing over him, and Asa, with eyes narrowed in his direction. “Yes, that’s right, my apologies. The black coffee is for me, espresso for her.” “Hinata” bows lightly, embarrassment washing over him, she must have called him several times, forced to hold a flimsy tray and their drinks as he spaces off.

He's such an idiot.

As he takes a sip, thankful that his brew was not hot enough to burn the roof of his mouth, he finds himself unsure of what to do to the new silence washing over them. Should he have pressed further as to why she could not accept? Was it better to leave his questions unfinished and let himself guess as to why he could not have a chance even to court Asa?

Was it because Karlheinz, king of the Demon World would not have his firstborn niece marry a man who was barely even considered high-middle class?

“Miss Asa?”

“Yes?”

Hinata felt as if someone stuffed his mouth with cotton, “May I take a leave? For work, that is.” 

Asa looked up from her coffee, to look at him, mildly surprised at his sudden request, “… you never asked for any days off…”

He knows, he never did give himself any rest from her work, but neither did she. Hinata didn’t want to bear the weight  of their work all on her own. Guilt swallows Hinata’s mind as he steels his resolve, “I just need to clear my mind, Miss Asa. I hope you understand…”

Silence envelopes both vampires, leaving the sound of coffee brewing and utensils clinking together as other customers lounge in their seats.

Her lips pursed together in a thin line. “I understand…”

“… I’ll be fine take care of your part of the work. So rest assured.”

Hinata could only give her a bitter smile in return, “I’m sorry…”

Asa’s pale hand finds his, grazing his skin with her feathery touch, “Don’t be, I should be thanking you for… this… for everything.” 

Looking down at her hand on his, Hinata finds a sense of relief in this small gesture, letting himself close his eyes for a moment before he raises her hand to his lips. He counts his luck when he noticed she never pulled her hand away from him and his affections that he will need to bury deep in his heart.

“Don’t push yourself, Miss Asa.”

Hinata smiles into her skin and lets her go.

“Your eldest sister might become a spinster at this rate, don’t you think?”

Amaya lets out a huff at the fedora-clad vampire, “Oh that’s just rich coming from you, Laito. No, no, it’s not like everyone in the manor can smell at least five different girls on you every night, no, no, that’s definitely not the case.” she waves her hand around as if to prove her point as Ayato lets out a laugh at her unexpected comment, much to Laito’s dismay. “Ayato-kun, don’t laugh, aren’t you supposed to defend your brother? How can you let her say that to your own flesh and blood?” Laito lets out a dramatic whine when his triplet swats his hand away, “Tch, I ain’t defending you for shit.” Ayato snarks back, still snickering at Amaya’s quip. “Hehehe, The Grudge over there can actually come up with something funny for once. Ore-sama can give her respect for that.”

“Tch, as if you can come up with anything better.” Subaru scowled under his breath and roll his eyes at his older brothers, but decided to save the bickering for the moment, “So you haven’t seen Asa lately?” he asks Amaya, she frowns at his question, slumping back into the old velvet of the sofa, one of the oldest pieces of furniture in the manor he has yet break in a rage, if he remembered what Reiji told him.

“Well, I do see her, just not as often lately. Busy with work and all.” Amaya pondered carefully, twirling her inky strands between her fingers, “I don’t know how to describe it, other than telling you she has been acting kinda off.” Amaya pauses, tugging at a lock of hair, “Akemi even agrees with me, so I’m not alone on this!” she adds quickly, still doubtful of her limited observations. Ayato scoffs at her, “Hah? Crazy Eyes has alway acted like that, hasn’t she?” He counters, “I’m telling you, she needs some guy to remove that stick up her ass-“

“Anything else you want to add, Ayato?”

The red-haired vampire turns to the sound of a new voice behind him, his green catlike eyes meeting her sapphire blue’s, flickering like embers, waiting to catch fire. Laito lights up at the sight of the blonde, “Relio, isn’t this a lovely surprise? Feel like joining us for a chat?” He purrs, letting his hands slowly trail down to his lap, petting it, “Come sit right here, wont you? I promise I’ll behave.” He coaxes her softly, ignoring Subaru glaring daggers at the back of his head, his fists clenching as his nails dig into the fabric of his seat. “No, in fact, I was just passing by to go to Asa’s room, if you would excuse me, Laito.” Akemi huffed in response, glaring at the fedora-clad vampire before walking her way up the stairs.

“Akemi!”

Taken aback, Akemi halts in her step to find her youngest sister calling after her. “Are you going to try and ask Asa what going on?” Amaya asks, the concern in her voice apparent to her. Akemi’s gaze softens, “I’ll go try and talk to her, I’ll see you at dinner, okay?” she gives her sister a smile, hoping that would be enough to reassure Amaya who only nodded in return.

Making her way up the hallways she had long memorized in the back of her mind, Akemi knocks on her sister’s door.

“Asa, are you there? I need to talk to you.”

No one answers. Akemi knocks again. Harder.

‘How odd’ ,Akemi swears she can feel Asa’s presence behind the door. That and there is warm light pooling out of the door’s gaps. Most likely from her ancient study lamp that seems to run on the power of the sun. It burns like the sun too, considering she had touched it once when she would lounge at her sister’s room on any other uneventful day.

“Even if you’re not going to answer me, I’m coming inside!” Akemi hollered, her hand reaching for the knob, waiting, giving her sister one more chance to at least respond to her call.

 A faint but very familiar voice replies from the door between them, “Just mind your step”

 “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Opening the door, Akemi is greeted with an unexpected surprise. Something Akemi would have never guessed her sister be so capable of as she makes her way in the dimly lit room, the desk lamp being the only source of light, still burning bright enough for her eye to see.

Her sister’s room is a complete mess.

“Well, would you look at that, did a hurricane hit your room? Care to tell me, sister dear?” Akemi let out a short laugh at the absurd situation she find herself in, bending down to pick up the papers strewn about on the floor, fluttering about as if they’re butterflies in the wind that takes them everywhere but her sister’s desk. “Trying to channel your inner Hamilton?” She jokes, inspecting the sheets of paper covered in her sister’s sharp writing.

“I’m busy.” Asa answers curtly, returning to the parchment in her ink-stained hands, haphazardly grabbing random pen strewn across her desk. “Leave those papers be, I’ll handle them in a bit. I’m just about done here. Only one more left” She adds immediately after hearing the shuffling of files behind her back to see Akemi placing them on her bed, on top of her blankets.

“Alright, alright, don’t point your pen at me. I’m wearing the dress I just bought a week ago.”  Akemi raises her hands in mock defeat, letting the papers fall from the covers, slithering down to the floor again. “You were never this busy, Amaya is getting worried.” she could hear the scratching of the pen halt, finally getting Asa’s attention again. Bringing up their youngest sister never failed in stopping either of them in their tracks. “Japan may be smaller than Europe but don’t you think it’s too much? Didn’t Uncle hired Hinata to help you?”

Asa tenses at her sister’s words. “He requested for a temporary leave. Something personal.”

“That’s it? Just like that?” Akemi asks, “He left with no reason?” Her eyes narrowed, clearly suspicious of the eldest’s evasiveness , “Can’t even come up with a reason why?”

“Its the truth.”

Sighing, Akemi grabbing a stool from the vanity, plopping both the stool and herself right next to her eldest sister. ”Did he confess to you already?” She asks, not caring if it was wrong or not. Akemi normally would make a game of prying the truth out of anybody, yet in all honesty, she was already tired of dancing around with questions when her sister is throwing herself back in work in whatever underworld she has created herself.

Taken aback, Asa turns to her, “You knew?”

“I have eyes.” Akemi chuckled, finding some humor in her sister’s obliviousness. “Thought he’d never tell you, considering you worked together and all. Would have been awkward” she adds, much to Asa’s dismay. What a predicament her sister found herself in, Akemi would’ve never though she’d see the day. 

Asa let out a deep sigh, pinching the skin between her brows at “I never knew… How was I supposed to have known he…” she murmurs to herself, her head collapsing into her table with a soft thud, “How did this even happen?”

“Did you love him?” Akemi asks, nudging her shoulder, already having her fill of fun at her sister’s expense, “In a way you wanted to be intimate with him?” Asa raises her head from her desk, looking more lost than Akemi had expected. An unusual sight for her.

“I… I don’t feel the same way…”

Akemi raises her brow. Clearly confused and unsure who she could possibly do to help.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try another question, maybe a few, “You never loved anyone? Kissed? Anything?” Akemi asks again, and again, knowing she can at least name a handful she had loved and lost to time. Mortality was cruel, and longevity is another kind of hell humans strive for.

Didn’t matter, the way most of those loves ended were her fault anyway.

But what about her older sister? What about the people she loved that Akemi and Amaya never got to know? Before they were given another chance to start over together?

Asa shakes her head, “No, no one.”

Oh.

Oh.

“I once thought that perhaps I might pursue that kind of love, when I would finally stop focusing on surviving until tomorrow… I thought I might want settle down like how our mother and father did.” Asa groaned, running her hand down to her face. “But I didn’t, I had no desire for it. It’s been years, Aurelia. Decades.” she continued, letting out a deep sigh as she faces Akemi, “I don't think I’ll ever understand it… perhaps I’ll never understand.”

Blinking back her shock, Akemi looks at Asa in awe, surprised by her words. Acts of vulnerability or any stories of when they were separated were never shared. Too much pain under the ugly scars long mended with time buried deep down to their bones. Yet here Akemi was, sitting next to her sister as she let herself open up to her.

“I… I don't think there’s anything wrong with feeling that way…” Akemi voices out, still unsure of what she could even say. “Look at me, most of the men who ogle me on the streets are complete crap. Following me, asking me to drink with them, you're not exactly missing out on anything.”

Bursts of quick laughter left Asa’s lips, leaving a breathy and pitched sound in the air.

“Maybe so…” Asa smiles, feeling a bit of weight leave her shoulders. “It’s just that, Hinata… I’m mostly worried for him,.” she winces at the memory, remembering the aroma of coffee wafting over her nose. “I was never as good with my words like you or Amaya.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand… maybe I might have to help you when his leave is over-“

A knock on the door interrupts the two sisters before it was open slightly ajar, revealing Reiji. “Asa, do come downstairs to help me set up the table in approximately fifteen minutes. Dinner will start shortly.” He states cooly, looking over at the pair of blond vampires staring back at him as if he intturupted their conversation. Although he did, both of them would not tel hm otherwise. “Ah yes, and Akemi, fold and sort the laundry downstairs as I have washed them yesterday. Make sure to bring clean clothes back upstairs in their respective rooms.”

Rolling her eyes, Akemi stands from her seat, “Guess we can try to come up with something later. Want to talk after dinner?”

Asa gives her smile, it reaches her eyes “Of course.”

[the-ace-with-spades]

Hi again. I know you just wrote a phenomenal response to one of my asks so no pressure at all to answer this one. But I have noticed a lot of transMaverick posts on tumblr recently, and I was wondering if that’s something you vibe with at all. I think they are very cool and an interesting take on a well loved character. Your work monkey child is just so wonderful and moving that it made me curious as to your thoughts on this topic. Also feel free to not respond if you are not comfortable, as I realize this could be a sensitive topic for many people. Thank you so much!!! Hope you are doing well and that you aren’t working too hard. Make sure yo take time to have a break and smell the flowers do to speak.

Oh my, sorry but this might be a bit long as this is such an interesting topic for me...

While I enjoy fics/fanart involving trans Mav, I do not vibe with it that much?? I like it as a concept and I'll always be glad that people are up to interpret/headcanon characters as trans, no matter which characters -- there isn't much trans representation in mainstream media, especially when it comes to transmasc people, with lack of main characters being a major problems, so I definitely take comfort in headcanoning characters as trans in fanwork. I could go on a tangent here about this but the gist is, there's either no rep, very background rep that absolutely doesn't bring anything to the story and feels added as an afterthought, trans rep whose story is told in a way that can be pityable and accommodated to cis audience, and very sad, stereotypical trans rep when you've got the whole dramatic haircutting in front of a mirror, ace bandages, and 'that's not my name, mom' that's not the reality and a major simplification, or we have sob story trans rep that dies at the end. I've written a major assignment about this (curiously, before I came out as trans...) and my point is, fanwork is a form of comfort and rep that we're not getting anywhere else.

I don't vibe with trans Mav as much since my modus operandi in fandoms is primarily staying around canon/canon divergence, so most of the headcanons/ideas I like are close to the reality of the universe of the original media or could take place in it without major changes to the universe. When I write, I try to make it semi-realistic in the same way. Obviously, TG and TG:M disregard some physics laws and have a lot of very improbable things happening in them but socially and historically seem to be the same as our reality.

There's a reason I wrote Bradley coming out later in life in monkey pilot rather than have him come out before NROTC or while in flight training (and it wasn't just because I wanted to write the Jake drama...) - in short, realistically, trans people weren't allowed to be part of armed forces until 2015 (in the US, of course) and they only allowed people who were already in service to return after transition, you couldn't enlist as an openly trans person until a year later (that was iffy too, and more complicated but I won't go into details), and to this day, veterans are fighting to get their VA benefits back as they were taken away if they came out as trans after completing service... Laws regarding trans people were in general more complicated before 2010s (name and gender legal changes, mainly) as well as access to trans healthcare, and coming out as trans wouldn't really be an option (realistically) if one wanted to be part of the military anytime before 2016. Even in the monkey pilot I've taken a large artistic license (gave Ice a bit more power than he would have in reality...) to keep Bradley in the Navy post-transition.

This means there isn't a way for Mav to be openly trans and in the Navy in the 80s while also in service. It's always in the back of my mind whenever I see fanarts or read fics because the sad truth is, that wouldn't be the reality. I know a lot of trans people like to write trans characters in settings and universes with a silent 'transphobia doesn't exist' au and I can see the appeal of that at times but once again, not my modus operandi (with the exception of different job aus, I think?).

I do think that an Icemav fic could be an interesting idea and made realistically if we had Mav closeted and serving in his agab (so, female to the outside world) but slowly coming out to the found family around him (Carole, Goose) without transitioning. This is something that sometimes, undeniably, happens in the trans community -- people don't come out or start the transition process because it's not safe or will severely impact the comfort of their life. There are ways to affirm your identity without coming out in every aspect of your life and Mav might have very well been supported like that by his friends and family as long as he was in service. I imagine that it could create an internal dilemma for both Ice and Mav once they started falling for each other -- Mav, as he'd probably want to come clean, and Ice because he'd have to decide if he would be able to relationship with a guy. I imagine they would live their life as a hetero couple outside their home, and as truly themselves in their own home for the majority of their lives and Mav would transition late in life, at the age of fifty-three, and this is also something so underexplored. You might have noticed that trans Mav art and fics are mostly with him being a twenty-something twink, which, again, is probably more relatable as most fandom people are twenty-something, but it kind of takes away the appeal for me -- I like to find comfort in that despite the struggles and the reality for trans people being bad, there's a happy ending waiting somewhere or with someone.

Different people engage in fandom for different reasons and I totally understand that my point of view may not be the most common one. I'll never say that people shouldn't headcanon/write/draw Mav as trans because, in the end, I don't have to be completely on board to find it enjoyable or to see the value it can bring to others.

I'm sorry if this was a bit long and thank you for the asks - it's so kind of you to send any at all to me. Once again, hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself too 💙

[ven0moir]

Hiii :)) hope your day is going well

I just wanted to ask you how do you think they're gonna deal with miIeven next season?

And also, if you want ofc, how do you think they could deal with miIeven if they wanted to keep their romantic relationship till the end? With Will's painting and lie and Mike's self esteem issues, how they could make this good, in a way we could see miIeven in a good light and still think that Will had a happy ending, or if you think there's no way to make us (not only bylers but GA since they also don't like miIeven) see it in a good light. (you don't have to answer this one but i think about it a lot and i would like to see other people's opinions)

Hello, Anon! Tysm for the ask, I hope your day is going well too! This turned really long but I added a small TL;DR in the end if you'd rather not go through this all!

I’m going to put a little warning here that I’m no longer sugarcoating my thoughts on Mileven, especially because I feel like the Duffers themselves are anti-mileven. So proceed with caution.

To answer your first question, the more I rewatch the show, the more I realize that Mileven seemed to be more a plot device than an actual relationship the Duffers and writers put much depth into. I sincerely see a scenario similar to S2 Stancy happening with Mileven. They naturally drift apart throughout the season, with Mike’s focus being Will and Eleven’s being Max. 

Their break-up scene will probably look similar to S2 Stancy. I do not see why they would stray away from this pattern when they’ve already followed S1 Stancy’s blueprint for S4 Mileven. 

Imho post-S4 Mileven is not relevant at all to either El or Mike’s arcs, and I would even go as far as saying that the relationship never truly took off.

S1 - they meet during the direst circumstances. Mike was kind enough to give her a hand, and then once he realized she could help, his desperation led him to act out in a way that filled him with guilt post S1. Whether or not he actually had a crush on her, or just thought he was responsible for her and had to like her to fit in is up for interpretation. Mike saved her when she needed someone, but it never went beyond that. Mike himself says this to us during the van scene.

S2 - Mike was filled with guilt because of how El died, blaming himself for it and everything. When he’s attempting to reach her, he even says he just needs to know that she’s okay and that he’s not even going to say anything, which implies he won’t try to find her if she doesn’t wish to be found. He legitimately just wanted to know she was okay somewhere and wasn’t expecting to see her again. They meet again in the end and kiss. S3 - THIS was the season to show us how cute Mileven actually was, and how well they worked together as a team and as a couple. Instead, we got some really weird context, such as them doing literally nothing but kissing for 6 months. When she’s with Max, we learn the topic of what Eleven likes never even came up in conversation while she was with Mike. Then he had his weird projection era, and they only seem to make up again after shit hits the fan once more. 

S4 - The first thing they tell us is that El has been lying in her letters to Mike for 185 days. And then more weird context. Honestly assuming that Mike was only nice to Eleven because he was ‘in love with her at first sight’ is such a cringe concept to me that I cannot believe the Duffers were serious for one second.

Mike and Eleven had the most development during S1, which set them up as a ‘savior’ in each other’s lives, and then the show never developed them beyond that. The only development they had was how the relationship makes both characters insecure. I personally don’t even think ‘Elmike’ can be salvaged at this point without some substantial screen time, which the show itself has proven time and time again it rather give that to other dynamics. 

I know some people disagree and think Mileven and Elmike are actually an integral part of the show but I just do not see why the show would prioritize them NOW after setting them up in different paths in S5 with Mike closing the season literally by Will’s side (while setting Will up for his hardest season yet) and El’s priority being Max, alongside reuniting with Hopper after thinking he had died for months. 

I sincerely feel what the Duffers have been building Mileven up to is a break-up. They have not been written as endgame.

As for how they could salvage romantic Mileven … I feel like it’s too late at this point. The absolute most they can do is RETCON Will’s confession by having Eleven have her own. Which depending on how they do it will feel just as cheap as Mike’s monologue. “Yes indeed! Even though Will lied about the painting and I don’t really behave like I love you at all I do feel that way about you.” Absolutely nothing they can do or say redeems Mileven THIS late in the game. ESPECIALLY not after the way they handled Will and the painting plot. Because even if they somehow by some miracle manage to patch up Mileven last minute, where does that leave Will???? If Will’s whole arc with Mike was to just give him a painting and a confession, so then he can move on, WHY DID THEY MAKE SUCH A HUGE DEAL ABOUT HIS PAIN??? 

When Dustin was heartbroken in S2, the show showed his disappointment but then we saw him try to move on by asking other girls to dance. He at least had that option, Will does not. He’s a closeted gay teen in the 80s in love with a best friend he’s been through so much with. We don’t even know how long Will has had feelings for Mike in secret, so using his feelings and painting like that, as “realistic” as some people claim it is, is just unnecessarily cruel. They could’ve had him move on from Mike at the end of S3, and given him some unnamed crush in Lenora. They did NOT need to make him in love with Mike if all that’s coming from it is a rejection in the LAST season. 

So yes, TL;DR: 

Romantic Mileven is beyond saving at this point, and MAYBE at best, we get some nice Elmike scenes to set them up as friends now once the initial sting of the breakup has subsided.

Even if they wanted to do the insanity of keeping Mike and Eleven together, it’s just going to feel like cheap fanservice and Sunk Cost Fallacy-ish. 

[randxmthxughts]

😈💖🌝🖊️

thanks for sending these in!!

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

i don't know, i think maybe writing reactions for every dialogue line? i love describing the way characters are saying their lines but sometimes having too many descriptions can be annoying

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

dialogues! i love writing them, love adding hidden hints and jokes, writing banters is my favorite

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

jake! i love that man so much and i include him as a character in most of my works but i haven't had the chance to write for him as the main romantic lead yet!

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

glad you asked bc i'm currently back to working on chosen by eywa, so here's a snippet of the next chapter (keep in mind, this is very rough):

“Let’s go,” his thick-accented voice grabbed her attention once more, and without waiting for an answer, Neteyam was already walking out of the tent, pulling her by the hand with him.

She didn’t have much time to react, on her way out only catching a sight of Mo’at, who obviously noticed the interruption but only slightly shook her head and returned back to her task. 

“Neteyam,” Y/N hissed lowly, but his grip on her, though gentle, remained unmoving.

“My grandmother won’t kill you, if I’m coming with you,” he explained, without even glancing back at her, as he confidently walked her away from the tent, still holding her hand.

“You’re coming with me? Where?” Y/N’s nose scrunched in confusion.

“Wherever you want."

Neteyam was never one to protest the rules. Lo’ak liked to tease him about it and call him a 'goody-two-shoes,' but honestly, Neteyam was too focused on excelling rather than getting offended by something as silly as his brother's weak insults. But he also had never had the urge or the motivation to disobey. It would only cause him more trouble and no matter how long he’d weigh the decisions, Neteyam never thought that breaking the rules would be worth it. But here, as he led Y/N away from her responsibilities to force her into a moment of peace for herself, he decided that it was for a good reason. That it wouldn’t matter if his grandmother got mad at them, of course, he would take the blame since he initiated it. But if it meant that she didn’t have to sit and work while her past lover was gawking at her, then maybe it was worth it after all. 

[lovenojudgement]

September 01, 2024 22:12

“Saturation point.” (long post ahead)

As my flight home comes closer and closer each day, instead of feeling excited I do not know why fright and depression has been eating my whole being little by little. It is the first day of September and I started it with an anxiety attack-- shortness of breath and unending flow of tears. I have been excessively tiring myself even after work to make sure that when my body touches the bed, I would fall asleep right away. I do this for me to be able prevent myself from having time to think and mess with myself even more.

While writing this, all I can feel is being lost in my own love story. I might have used this line with my previous blogs already, but its definition is different this time. Before, I was lost since I never got any confirmation to what we were to each other. Now, I am lost in my own love story because of all the uncertainties that it is making me feel each day. I have always been hopeful of what we have and never have I ever wanted to end this. Before I left home to pursue building my future here in the US, I never thought that starting a fresh and young relationship would hinder a lot of things. I have always thought and treated this relationship as an inspiration and as a solid rock that I could lean on when weakness hits me since I will be all alone. 

I know for myself that being in a long-distance relationship will never be easy. Most of my friends never agreed on this, but I have always believed in love. I have always trusted God and His will. I thought of meeting John before I left as a blessing because I have always been vulnerable and now, God has finally given me my constant confidant in life. Someone who is sure of me. Someone who would do his best to make me happy not because it is needed but because I deserve it. I held on to “we will make this work” up until this very moment. But for almost 3 months now, I feel like our relationship is adding up to my daily exhaustion. 

Do not get me wrong. I am sure that I have tons of lapses as a partner. I thought practicing an open communication would help but I am not quite sure with it anymore. Recently, I had thoughts in mind that I choose to rather keep to myself than sharing it with him because I would probably feel invalidated again. When I feel invalidated then just end the day and start the next one like nothing happened, he does not see how it gets back to me after ending the call.

With our plans when I get home, none of it is even sure. I do not know how to fix things anymore. I do not want words to come out of my mouth because I have done those over and over already. I did not even know that my suggestions were treated negatively.

Last night, as I was breaking down, I was asking God what He really wanted me to see? What did He wanted me to realize as I go through these? What action should I do to calm my erratic emotions every time I feel scared if things does not push through smoothly and affect the following years of our relationship ahead? Because with all these uncertainties, the only thing that I am certain about now is that I cannot continue this relationship in the coming years without us having the assurance of at least being with each other even just for a short period of time. No matter how sad and painful things get when I enter the airport doors going back to reality, I have always chosen to go home and be with him. Regardless of the long hours of traveling and the jet lag to and from the vacation itself. I can say that it has always been worth it. The first time that I felt it was during my first vacation, I told him that I could not continue living like this and feeling this heaviness in my heart every single time. His response was, he feels the same way as well and that we will fix it. I felt so relieved because I know things would probably go smoother in the future. But I think I was wrong. Things got worse. Obviously, the things that we talked about for the future seems to fall apart as days go by. Words that were said felt firm, but they were not. Words are just words when no action is done. 

He has changed enormously. The way he eats, the way he takes care of himself as a whole, how he modulates the intensity and tone of his voice when we have disagreements, the way he chooses to be vulnerable with me when he misses me when we do not talk normally during a fight, the way he updates me the moment he steps out of their house whether it be for work or leisure, the way he satisfies my cravings and to make me feel better from a tiring day through food deliveries and a lot more. I can list many more, but it would make this blog even longer than it is now. God knows how I appreciate every change that he has done not only for our relationship but also for himself. Every time I see how he takes care of himself I always feel like God is tapping my shoulders for doing a good job as his girlfriend.

We have a couple weeks more before my flight and none of the things that we talked about are falling into place. He told me to give August to him and so I did. Yet again, it did not go like how he said it would. Yes, he briefly talked to my sister about it, and nothing came after that. I pretty much know how he thinks of this situation. Instead of following up, he would prefer to wait not thinking of how it would affect our other plans. I have seen this scenario already. Almost the exact thing happened when I was telling him to plan a beach vacation for us with my sister the last time that I went home. Things did not push through, right? Why? Because it’s what they liked that mattered. I might probably be the same this time. It is not urgent because it is nothing that he wanted to do in the first place. Maybe I was pushing him too much. If only he knows how hard it is for me to feel like a director with all of these every time I open this up for our future. Yes, I said that things can still push through with or without my parents’ blessings. But I hope he remembers what he told me before. That it is not our option for my parents to be mad at us. And I hope he understands that being away from them regardless of how crazy my family gets, it does not remove my function as a daughter and as a sister-- most importantly being a part of the healthcare, there is a need for me to know how their health are doing. Therefore, being away from them is already hard which means not being in good terms with them because of this would add more to the burden.

I know that he never had plans of working abroad. He did say that his plans can change for as long as it would help make our relationship work. Like what I always tell him, I understand where he is coming from. But I can never do anything other than to assure him that again, we will make things work for as long as we are together. It is painful for me too to remove him from where he is really used to. But I also want him to see the possible opportunities that life can give him. I also want him to see other places where he can grow not only professionally but as a person as well. I am currently in the state of thinking that he should just choose and let me know which path he would want to choose because there is no way for him to have the best of both worlds. If he could not let things go in the Philippines, then there is no chance for us to have a lifetime with each other. My heart cannot push things through in the following years facing the camera alone. Not being able to reach his hands when I am not feeling well or when I am scared or sad. The feeling of being incomplete even with the celebrations of our small wins because of the distance. This frightens me every single day for as long as none of what we talked about are settled. My heart is worried and down for all these uncertainties because I have always thought that this relationship is meant to be my forever. I know I might be asking for too much. Likewise, time is of the essence, but no urgency is seen nor felt even after crying my heart out a couple of times already. I am sorry for putting our relationship in this situation, but I have laid all these down even before I left. I have given options over and over and none of it were even tried. I cannot do anything anymore but to decide for myself when nothing happens when I get home for the last time. Because like what I said, if I really meant that being engaged or being married to him is my gauge of his love for me, then why do I feel like I am begging for it? Maybe he really is not ready to face life’s challenges with me. Or maybe it’s not really me who is meant to be with him in facing life itself. He sent me a song that he said he remembers me when he listened to it. It was “Die for You” by The Weekend. Just a random thought, how would you even die for me if you could not even take the risk of holding my hand and trusting the process of our lives by moving out of your comfort zone and dropping your pride behind? Interesting thought, isn’t it?

Again, I am not perfect, and I appreciate all the changes, but I have tried my best to stick to most of my promises the moment I left. I always chose to stay in your axis even if I was partially losing myself instead of feeling whole. Last night, I opened how I was feeling. I would like to thank you for dismissing it again for the nth time. Thank you for choosing to use the self blame card on me instead of searching for the possible reasons why and trying to fix it from there. It could have felt better if you chose to make me feel and know that every time, I feel this, you are just there. That no matter how life hits me, no matter how strong the gravity pulls us away from each other, it is your hand that I will always reach out for. That it will always be you no matter what because there will really be times where in resolutions are not available yet but your presence is yet to be more than enough.

This has been giving me anxiety attacks in the middle of the night and sometimes the feeling of zoning out even at work when I think of my future without him. Dropping out of this relationship is easy if I do not love him this much. But I do. Even if sometimes I have thoughts like, can I live life with someone who does not see what really needs to be acted upon urgently. If I can live life with someone who chooses to enclose his life where he is used to just because it's comfortable. But then it would lead me to the thought that people differ. So the only thing I can do is to uplift him even though he chooses to resist because of pride. People say why am I settling for the bare minimum? That someone would treat me better because I deserve better. I have never thought of considering this. Because I know that the "bare minimum" that they see might be his best for now. There will always be room for change and improvement when you are open for it which is why I have always chosen to stay. But one thing is for sure, every one has their own saturation point and I might be close to reaching it.

I never thought that the definition of lost in my current life’s dictionary is heavier than it used to. 

I have always been hopeful regardless of how hard things are especially these days. So, I hope we still have time. I hope time would give us a little more grace to fix things for our future. And I hope God provides us a clearer mind to decide for what is best for our relationship.

DGPS

[cheqorb]

Going Slightly Off-Script.

You’re both just in a fake relationship for both of your own benefits, nothing more is going on behind the scenes (and it’s definitely not actual love)!

FEAT. Reo, Sae, Kaiser

NOTES. Can’t tell if these are horribly ooc or not, but i’m sure you guys are sick of my apologies so I’ll try to stop 😕 and wow, reading through this whole yap sesh was pretty painful! My condolences to you, dear reader.

As the heir to the illustrious Mikage corporation, REO knew, deep down, that a time would come when he'd have to step into his parents' shoes and take control of the company. And speaking of which, his parents seem to be growing increasingly more eager to see him settle down, constantly badgering him about finding a ‘suitable partner’ whenever he visited them.

However, his career of being a professional soccer player meant that he would probably only be able to see them if he played games in Japan itself, which rarely happened anyway.

He wasn’t an idiot; maintaining a relationship with his schedule would be practically impossible. His partner would certainly get tired of it after a few months, and he wasn’t keen on the idea of forcing them to travel with him to every single match.

Adding on to his worries, the thought of starting a relationship with ulterior motives (in this case, merely to appease his parents) left a bitter taste in his mouth. Reo’s not exactly the type of guy who wants to break someone’s heart over this. The man was stumped for once, until by some stroke of genius, you came into mind.

Though not particularly close by any means, you’d met enough times for him to recognise your face. Given, that you’ve already got status as an heir to your own family’s fortune, his parents should also approve of you. Besides, since you’re someone familiar with the expectations of living a life like his, surely, the life of being his significant other shouldn’t be too jarring.

────

For what seems like the first time ever, Reo stumbles over his words — his usually confident demeanor giving way to a sense of nervousness that was unlike the man. And in spite of his attempts (?) to mask it, it was clear that this weighed heavily on him, even more so than his usual bravado could conceal.

“So, I was hoping you could consider-“

His smile falters as you quickly interject, a curt “I accept” escaping your mouth before he could even finish his carefully rehearsed ‘proposal’. The relief in his eyes was unmistakable, though tinged with a hint of disbelief at your response. Rather than immediately celebrating, Reo’s expression softens a little.

“You,“ he pauses, “You don’t need to make your decision so quickly, I get that it’s a difficult thing to ask of you…”

“Yep. And I’m agreeing.”

────

In hindsight, maybe the arrangement had fallen a little too seamlessly into place? Maybe he should’ve been more concerned with how…eagerly you accepted being his fake partner without a moment's hesitation (it honestly freaked him out slightly). But ultimately, it solved his problem!

With you by his side, he could continue his career while still making his parents happy. Alls well that ends well.

Of course being the over thinker he is, Reo still has doubts but you reassure him that you’re perfectly happy to spend your days in comfort and go on luxurious vacations with your friends if he had matches coming up.

As luck would have it, you’re quite the lovely person yourself. Even if his parents aren’t there to see, you always go above and beyond to maintain appearances (he thinks that’s what you’re trying to do anyway?) and make sure he’s happy. Whether it was a home-cooked meal awaiting him after a long day or your being in the stands, cheering him on during matches, your seemingly genuine care for him just makes his heart flutter a bit.

I think Reo has a soft spot for sweet gestures that don’t really involve money.

On return, Reo finds himself taking extra care of you: making sure you’ve got nice clothes to wear, randomly calling you in the middle of the night, a slip of the tongue petname here and there. Just normal stuff you do for your fake lover!

────

Nagi could only only sigh (internally in his head, it’s too much work to actually sigh) as he watched his teammate picked up his phone for the umpteenth time this hour.

“Maybe they’re just sleeping..?” he offers, though it doesn’t seem to help very much.

“They haven’t responded to any texts, they won’t even pick up the phone…” the man laments, sulking in the corner of the room. “My dear Y/N could be in danger and if I’m not there to help them-“

A quick ding from his phone soon shoots Reo upright from his misery, a hopeful look now on his face. He only seems more giddy once he notices it’s a voice message too, he just loves listening to you speak! Your voice is always so— “Reo, please go to sleep, it’s late for you right now, isn’t it? Call me back in the morning, don’t you dare think of staying up to text me.”

────

Hm, does he really do that? Reo’s never quite noticed, or thought about it, because he’d rather spend his time wondering what gift he should get you for his next surprise visit back home!

SAE’s attitude and abrasive personality is definitely one of his manager’s least favourite qualities about him. The man’s hatred for interviews and meet-and-greets, coupled with his unabashed insults towards those he found irritating, posed a challenge for his (manager) public image.

While some die-hard fans may have been drawn to his aloofness in the first place, it’s hardly the ideal for sponsorship deals or modeling contracts that he’s worked so hard to get — only for Sae to completely ignore them.

His manager is also the one who entertains the idea of him entering into a relationship in the first place. Perhaps, he mused, a significant other could ‘soften’ his rough edges and make him more approachable to the public. Though he doubt the man would ever agree to such a scheme, he was a bit desperate now. Can’t hurt to give it the old college try, right?

────

The obvious heartbroken expressions of the people leaving the room, along with the unmistakable voice of the Itoshi Sae in the flesh, uttering the word ‘rejected’, did little to ease the growing pit in your stomach.

Finally, your name was called and you enter the room with as little flair/flamboyance as you could, no need to embarrass yourself more than you already will.

His bored expression does little to boost your confidence and you found yourself avoiding direct eye contact as you introduce yourself sheepishly. “Hello, uhm- it’s nice to meet you. I’m L/N Y/N.”

────

There was something about your unassuming nature that intrigued him. You spoke about yourself with an honesty that bordered on indifference, almost as if you had resigned yourself to an inevitable rejection so you didn’t care how genuinely insane the things you were saying were. Like seriously, in college you went to a skate park drunk and came home with a horse?

But there’s one thing bugging him right now.

────

The words leave his mouth before he can even think of what he’s saying. “Look up at me.”

His request catches you off guard and you couldn't help but mutter an apology before reluctantly meeting his gaze. You feel weirdly self-consciousness whilst he stares at you (with luminescent green eyes) but thankfully maintain your composure until the end.

“—but, that’s all I can really say about myself. Thanks for listening and I wish you luck in finding one of the next candidates likeable!”

You flash him a smile, before swiftly getting up and exiting through the door without even letting him get a word in. Finally, that’s over with… You do feel a little bad for Sae though. Was he standoffish? Obviously. But hey, he was nice enough to listen to you rambling about everything under the sun so you at least hope he takes an interest in one of the people that comes in after you.

────

You almost forget about the whole fiasco since you believed you had created a lasting impression of someone who was most definitely not a good fit for a prodigy like him, as well as a bit of a weirdo. Imagine your shock at the email sent to you a few weeks later by his manager. To make a long paragraph short, you got the position! Well done?

Now, his manager arranged for the two of you to meet together for a first date to truly make sure this relationship would (at the bare minimum) allow you to be cordial with one another. If you’ve got a person like Sae on your hands, you learn to not expect things to turn positive.

His blunt and somewhat unnecessary remarks and stoicism could’ve easily derailed the evening, but to your credit, you held your own with decent resilience considering how timid you seemed upon your first meeting. Disregarding the occasional reaction at his words, you continue to be kind to him.

He’d never, ever, admit it out loud but he does feel a little guilty at how you just take his comments without complaint. Some form of annoyance from you would be expected, yet you only meet his words with a laugh or simply ignore them altogether — leaving him feeling unexpectedly unsettled. Also slightly questioning your self esteem.

You were walking out of a park when he was contemplating bringing the date to a close (he’s surprised he hadn’t done so earlier), before you suddenly bow your head with a smile on your face. One that really captivated Sae because of the actual, sheer sincerity in it.

────

“Thank you,” you say, and when he looks a little sceptical, you continue, “really. You’ve been nice to me even though I’ve just been talking your ear off this whole time, so I just wanted to say thanks for that. I liked today a lot, so- erm…if it’s not too much trouble, could we go on another? Date, I mean.”

With your words hanging in the air, he was at a loss for how to respond. Just what did you expect him to do after hearing that? Not decide right there and then that he wanted to give you the entire world and more?

Unlike the other two, KAISER’s situation can vary a little more. As in, his reasons for needing a pretend relationship can differ depending on anything. It could stem from dissatisfaction within his management, a desire to maintain his image, or simply on a whim. Regardless of the reason, you’re stuck with the bastard unless you want to lose all the money you get from doing this.

His arrogance is still hard to deal with, even though you thought you had steeled yourself for it beforehand. It doesn’t even seem to disappear even when the two of you are alone together; which by common sense, should be when you’re most comfortable with each other, no? He treats you like an accessory most times, but you can’t really complain if he’s the one paying your bills.

But, there are also times where his bravado feels forced, the occasional slip in his facade.

For better or for worse, you hesitate to say anything — not wanting to overstep any boundaries. You aren’t his actual s/o, you were getting paid as if the relationship was a career. Besides, would someone as overconfident as to call themselves ’emperor’ without cringing even want help from you?

If you’re the more compassionate type, you may just immediately cave in and try to help but even if you aren’t, it’ll be increasingly difficult to ignore him. One of these days, you realise he definitely doesn’t plan on seeking help himself.

Initially, he adamantly opposes any attempts of said help from you, making it clear he preferred to deal with his troubles alone or that he simply doesn’t need your help.

Your persistence is slightly alarming to Kaiser, who’s probably wondering if you’re trying to increase your allowance or something, but he still doesn’t give in (yet).

────

Suppressing a sigh, you turn on your heel after placing a cup of water and a modest plate of food on the coffee table. Another one of these nights again. Well, staying where you're evidently not wanted seems pointless. "Try to eat something before heading to bed, Michael. If you need anything, just tell me."

As you prepare to take a step forward, a sudden tug on your arm sends you tumbling to the floor.

Your assailant remains quiet, clutching your hand as if it were his lifeline. Awkwardly, you place your hand on his shoulder and try to engage him in small talk. Never have you ever thought you’d have to go on a ‘how’s the weather today’ rant in the midst of a possible mental breakdown, but here you are.

Though Kaiser doesn’t respond, he doesn't push you away either. It's progress of sorts, you suppose?

────

After a few more instances like that, there’s a gradual improvement in your relationship. Kaiser appears to be coping better with his emotions, even seeming happier than before. Good for him, you think to yourself when you notice it but it doesn’t exactly shock you. You figured that your dynamic with each other still wouldn’t change all that much.

You’d help him out whenever he needed you to, and both of you continue with your lives as usual. However, fate (or Kaiser himself) clearly had other plans.

For starters, he’s much more affectionate in private moments rather than it simply being for the media. He doesn’t do those elaborate displays like roses and gifts anymore — which you might think is a sign he’s growing more distant, but he remembers you saying you didn’t quite like it when there’s hundreds of cameras on you when accepting gifts like that. It’s more subtle, just how you like it.

There isn't a day that passes without him being by your side at some point in the day, either: resting his head on your shoulder, intertwining fingers, or wrapping his arms around your waist. Don’t forget there’s also the random pet names he bestows upon you. They aren’t at all cute or normal, but he doesn’t feel the need to explain the meaning behind them.

He genuinely cares if you’re around or not. Attending his matches had already become routine to you, it being necessary to maintain the image of being his supportive significant other but nothing beyond that.

While you never had the intention of not going anymore, you can’t help but notice Kaiser's new habit of personally inviting you to his matches. With a smug grin, he would insist on you showing up, emphasising how he wanted you in the crowd, cheering him on. Instead of receiving tickets through the usual channels (his manager, or whoever unlucky enough to cross paths with him that day), he likes to hand-deliver them to you.

────

With the crowd roaring in excitement, you figure it’s signalling the start of the match was close. What you don’t notice until it’s too late, is Kaiser's gaze finding its way to you. He takes a stride in your direction, his hand reaching out to gently lift your chin to face him.

Meeting his eyes, a questioning expression flickers across your features, as he lets out a dramatic sigh. Always so clueless, weren’t you. "Don’t you love me, Y/N?” he says with a uncharacteristic frown on his face, making it quite obvious that he’s pouting over something. Something you seem to do every time without fail nowadays.

“I spoil you too much,” you mutter, before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

────

As you can probably tell, he’s more insufferable like this though.

[embervoices]

I wrote an essay about that years ago on another site. Lemme dig it out.

A friend I respect who functions on a different model of polyamory than I do wrote a useful note about asking her partners directly if you're interested in dating them, rather than expecting her to be their gatekeeper (or rather, given the nature of the note, their leash-keeper).

One thing I notice a lot is this idea that either metamours are controlling authority figures (which, granted, may well be true if there's a D/s agreement in place), or else they are total strangers who are safe to ignore (which is possible if the model is mostly play parties and casual hookups rather than multiple long term relationships).

I disagree with both of these as a default assumption, and disagree vehemently with the idea that these are the only options.

When you have multiple ongoing relationships, your metamours are peers within your most immediate community. Granted, your relationship with your partner is not also a relationship with them. You have a different relationship with them, a relationship significant enough to have acquired its own label. My relationship with my Partner Chien and my Co-Partner Kits is such that we live together, and thus affect each other directly with pretty well every choice we make. I spend about half my time with my Lover AuntieDark’s household with DMA, so I am almost as affected by them as I am by Chien and Kit.

It's not an optional effect.

Chien, Kits, AD, and DMA are not part of my toybag by any stretch, but their other lovers absolutely do affect me. At the very least, dating you means either disappearing regularly, or you coming over regularly, both of which affect the others who live there. Dating you also means being affected by you, so their resulting moods and behaviors are also something that affect existing relationships. Again, this is not optional, this is how human relationships work.

More importantly, it isn't something I expect them to try and hide from me, or protect me from. That would be unhealthy. I'm not their employer. I'm home. I'm family. I'm safe space. Their emotional state is very important to me, and something I need to know, and something they need to be able to share with me. To say they're obliged to prevent me from being affected by whatever is affecting them is to say that they are obliged to isolate themselves from the very people they have chosen to make a home with. That's not okay.

Now, it happens that I am Chien's gatekeeper, in the sense that I'm his sanity check. We've been together a long time. I know his needs and habits pretty well, and I'm often a better judge of psychology than he is (although he's getting better at it as he goes). Our agreements are such that Chien isn't going to date someone that either I or Kit find extremely problematic.

Yes, we have a Preemptive Veto Agreement - that's just shorthand for a much, much longer conversation that we have any time there are concerns. A full on Veto is equivalent to saying "I can't date you if you're dating them.", so it's not something any of us break out at all lightly, nor is it something to engage after a relationship is already underway.

All that said? You should still take any interest in him directly to him, since the point is moot if it's not reciprocated. It's not your responsibility to already know what his existing agreements are, it's his responsibility to tell you - and any other parameters for dating him that you need to know and decide whether it's worth it to accept. And Chien is a very responsible guy.

It's true that the only consent that matters is his to give. It's also true that you're not going to GET his consent unless he has ours, and that getting ours requires meeting you, being assured that you're reasonably self-aware, etc. If that's something that bothers you, fair enough - but that does mean you're not going to be able to date someone in our polycule.

Ok, someone was wrong on the internets, so I'm gonna tell you about it. *sigh*

I don't get poly folks who date someone who's in an established relationship and don't really acknowledge that person's partner and treats them as if that person doesn't exist. Someone on Reddit tried to tell me that I'm "toxic and restrictive" because I want a potential new relationship person to be at least friends with my wife. Boggles my mind.

[babyminssii]

I've been thinking about this for hours... and made some decisions. For 5 years, I stomached the toxicity as a One Direction fan. You mentioned you also did, so you know what it was like. I stayed in the fandom because I kept saying 1D shouldn't have to suffer and be left with asinine fans because a section of their fanbase were unhinged. In the end that was not good for my mental state as I was always so angry every time I would engage online. However, the difference was that a loved 1D member was not getting death wished upon them for being close to Harry or Louis. A 1D member wasn't painted as a leaching whore who was trying to come between H and L by their own fans.

This BTS and moreso Taekook situation has me so disappointed and a bit heartbroken. When I became a BTS fan, it was such a lovely feeling. Fans were cool for the most part and BTS just seemed like 7 pups who loved each other dearly... just for me, 2 pups' bond stuck out even more lol I no longer feel good being a fan. I mentioned to you the other day that I know it's no fault to the group but unfortunately the hatred for one of it's members has gotten out of control and it seems not a damn thing will and can be done about it unless Hybe starts targeting accounts and unless twitter starts taking more responsibility for hate accounts. I love all 7 members. I truly do, and I wish them nothing but the best, but as Jimin biased, it kind of baffles me that why the two closest to him, are helping to fuel this frenzy. Now wait, I am not saying they should not be allowed to post pictures of each other. They're best friends. Of course, they are. But as the two who just the other week, had to see the awful comments being said during their vminkook vlive, I can't understand why they're just going full force feeding these rabid people in such a short amount of time. They have to be aware of what's happening. Maybe not to the full extent but some. No they're not responsible for awful human beings and their behavior but for me, if my friend and I knew that our other best friend would be getting hate loaded against them, I would upload content in a way where the Cujos weren't being fed when they're already attacking. Maybe I'm assuming too much and they don't know how awful it's been for Jimin but again, they've had to see some of the comments recently. For me, it just doesn't feel right. This isn't about whether Jungkook and Jimin are dating because frankly, I was 50/50 where that is concerned and only enjoyed their bond. To me it's like they've become tonedeaf and know about the hate comments but are shrugging about it in a "O well" type of way. That's a me perception and I could have it all wrong but that's how it's coming off to me and me being the empathetic person that I am, I wouldn't do anything knowing a loved one was going to get raked through the coals. I would post what I wanted but perhaps in times when things weren't so rabid. Yes most Taekookers are deeply troubled people and would send hate towards Jimin no matter what, but it's the timing that doesn't sit well with me. Sorry so long, I had a lot more to say than I thought lol

That said, I decided to delete all my BTS playlists on youtube, unfollowed BTS/Jikook accounts and did a BTS pictures cleanse on my phone and I noticed that although I am very sad to be moving on from a group I adored, I felt better after that somehow. Weird I know, but the heaviness of "what shit storm awaits now?" every time I logged on sm was lifted. I saw the Jikook content from Seasons Greetings and I didn't feel any type of way about it. I'm just done, you know what I mean? It might be extreme to some, even to 2014 me it would've seemed extreme to stop being a fan of a group because their fanbase. I was in the belief that hell would freeze over before I let internet assholes spoil my love for the group. By all means, if you can stomach the constant toxic bullshit and have somehow curated your sm where you don't see the crap, that's great. I hope more fans can do that. I however have already been there and done that and I will not do that again. For me this is no longer fun. Something feels not good being a BTS fan now. So everyone has to do what's best for them.

Alright you've probably fallen asleep half way through this novel or you're rolling your eyes deeply lmao Nobody cares about my BTS swan's song. I will end it here I promise 😂 Just want to say take care. You're so funny and made me laugh when I needed it some days. Happy holidays to you and your family if you celebrate Christmas and the upcoming New Year's and yeah stay safe and just thanks for being one of the cool ones. Maybe years from now, we'll meet up as fans in another group's fanbase LOL We both seem to end up liking the same groups (1D then BTS...? 👀) Anywho, bye for now

Don’t worry about the long ask anon :). So i’m glad you’ve made a decision that’s best for you. I do really understand all of your points and if at the end of the day leaving is what will make you feel better I don’t blame you.

Everything happening is really disappointing and heartbreaking for me as well, but as much as what i witness on the daily makes me sick, i just can’t bring myself to leave for the sake of jimin. No matter how toxic it is for him in this fandom, leaving him with the hyenas and dwindling support cause jimin biased fans keep giving up just doesn’t sit right with me. I feel like more than ever we just need to support him in anyway we can, so that we can try our best to drown out the horrible people on the internet.

Im actually pretty conflicted with this whole tk situation, because i do get what so many of you have been saying. It’s really frustrating to see them “feed” the shippers in a way, when i just can’t fathom that they don’t know how extreme it gets for jimin. But at the same time it’s super unrealistic and unfair to expect them to not interact at all because of shippers. I imagine jimin being so close to them also understands that as well. We went years without them really posting much with each other, and the toxicity against him only multiplied heavily each year. But at the end of the day they are a HUGE kpop group, they already have to monitor and sensor themselves 24/7 in public and then on top of that we expect 2 of the members to just not post with each other because their shippers are batsh*t crazy? The whole thing is extremely frustrating but i just don’t think that’s right. It’s a damned if they do, damned if they don’t situation and it probably feels like it’s better to ignore it and just do what they want. Really the only people that should actually be held accountable for all of this is hybe. Because they have the power to protect their artists and it really just seems like they don’t give a damn. They are super hella quick to protect their own pockets with copyright, but somehow when it comes to protecting the members (mainly jimin) against malicious attacks within the fandom, they move at snails pace or not at all. It’s really not acceptable when things for 1 of your artists are THIS extreme.

Now If i was to throw my 2 cents in here, i really think the big increase in interactions this week paired with tae mentioning the xmas song often just screams that something like a tk subunit is coming. But who knows. We really don’t know the reasons they’re moving headstrong with it right now, but im sure we will get more answers as time goes on.

I know you don’t understand why people real close to jimin would behave in a way that would feed the people that hate him, but we also have to remember who jimin is. He has mentioned that he knows who’s real and who’s not around him. He is smart enough to know when to cut toxic people out of his life, and the fact that he is still close to his members, or even the fact he is still close to tk, should tell you all you need to know about how he views them. We have to remember that the internet is not always a reflection of reality, and as someone who purposefully removed himself from it i’m sure jimin knows that too.

Anyways anon, im glad you’ve enjoyed your time on my blog while you’ve been here. It is funny we seem to be enjoying the same groups lol so who knows, maybe we will meet again :). I hope you have a safe and happy holidays as well! It’s been real.

[sxtaep]

OFF THE TABLE - KTH | eight (m)

↬ synopsis: a horrific case from 1993 has resurfaced 29 years later, leaving kim taehyung & mei yuna to argue in favour of the public to keep the defendant in jail. the only problem? the pair despise each other.

pairing — taehyung x female oc

genre — fluff, smut

word count — 6.8k

chapter warnings/tags — softdom!tae, sub!oc, domesticity, teasing, spitting in public (someone spit in my mouth already), explicit smut, mentions of female masturbation, pillow riding, swearing, name-calling, degradation, sexual tension, making out, dirty talk, thigh riding, more spitting (sorrynotsorry) oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, face sitting, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, guys), penetrative sex, rough fucking, creampie, cockwarming + more

a/n: hey… how you doin… 👁👁 i literally died and came back to life to update ott bc it’s been SO LONG!!! it’s mostly smut, pure filth, so get ready 🫶

++ also!! if you’d like to be added to the taglist, send me an ask!

It wasn’t often Yuna took days off work, simply never having the time to do so due to the workload, so it was quite odd being back in her office. The room was left untouched, exactly the way it was before she left. She trudged to her chair, sitting down with a heavy sigh and turning on her laptop, making a start on her work; responding to emails, sending emails out and signing paperwork.

It was nothing new, she was merely playing the catch-up game for hours. without a break and soon enough, she got tired.

Yuna dropped her pen and shut her laptop, running a hand through her hair with a heavy sigh. She stood up from her seat and left her office, briskly making her way to Taehyung’s office, and actually remembering to knock before peaking her head through the door.

The man looked up when he heard her knock on the door. He immediately smiled, as he quickly closed the laptop, completely ignoring the email he was writing. "Hi, darling."

“Hi..” Yuna says quietly with a childish smile on her face and a faint blush on her cheeks. She approaches his desk and takes a seat in the chair opposite him. “How’s all the work coming along?”

"Ah, I’m nearly finished,” Taehyung smiled at her, putting his laptop to the side, as he rest his forearms on the desk. He tilted his head to the side, noticing the exhaustion on her face. "Did you need something?"

“No not really, I’m just tired? Not sleepy tired, just tired. And I’m bored of being here,” she mumbles, leaning back against the chair and crossing her arms. “I feel like I probably messed up a bunch of paperwork.”

Taehyung raised a brow at her. He actually felt bad for her, only taking one day off to recover, even though he insisted she take at least 3 days off to fully recover but she refused.

"Bring your work here and I’ll fix it for you so you can leave early."

Yuna appreciated the offer, but she didn’t need her boyfriend doing all the work for her “Absolutely not. That work needs to be done by my hand and my hand only,” she groans, throwing her head back against the seat. “And I wanna leave with you, not on my own..”

Taehyung would laugh softly, seeing her flushed cheeks.

She was so cute.

Taehyung opens his laptop again, reading over the email he’d abandoned, "Ah, well, I was planning on finishing work early and then going to the gym. It’s been a while since I last went. Maybe we can spend some time together after I am back from the gym?"

Oh, what a sight it would be to watch Taehyung handle gym equipment.. she was almost daydreaming the image in her head and much to her disappointment, he cleared his throat, waiting for a response, or something, rather than sit there in silence and watch the growing smirk on her face become more and more frightening.

“That’s fine! Just give me a call when you’re ready to leave!” Yuna smiles, her words sounding liking gibberish with how fast she was talking and rushing towards the door.

Taehyung’s eyes shifted from the laptop to her and then back to his screen, doing a complete double take at the way her hips swayed in the black pencil skirt that hugged her hips perfectly. He tried his best not to check her out, but it was impossible with the harsh sounds of her sleek black heels thrumming against the tiled floor of his office.

"Mhm, I love those heels on you, Yuna,” he calls out to her, watching her body approach the door.

Yuna halted, looking down at her feet to suppress the blush growing on her cheeks. She turned to look back at him over her shoulder, throwing a wink at him and kicking her heels up behind her knees. “Thanks for letting me know, I’ll wear them more often for you,” she teases, blowing him a kiss and swiftly walking out of the office to leave him with his work.

“Oh, you don’t wanna drive? What if I decide to suddenly crash you car today?” She unlocks the door and gets into the drivers seat, leaving him outside. Having driven to work this morning, Taehyung had no intention of taking the wheel. Yuna looked extremely hot driving. Hotter than himself, even.

Taehyung frowned, jumping in the passenger seat and closing the door. "That would mean you really want to break up."

“Never mind, I’ll take extra care of your car then,” she mumbles, caressing the wheel gently before starting up the car and beginning to drive. “Home first or should I drop you off straight to the gym?”

"Gym first, please. I hope you don’t mind picking me up after?" He reached his hand down to pat her thigh, then softly skimming his fingers over the fabric of her skirt. Taehyung doesn’t miss the way her thigh tenses under his touch as she tries to keep her focus on the road.

“Uh.. sure, just let me know what time to pick you up and I’ll be there.” Yuna licks over her bottom lip and checks the time on her phone.

Taehyung grinned at her, leaning over to leave a chaste kiss on her neck and squeezing her thigh a little. "Of course. Thank you, baby. You’re such a good girl for me."

Yuna snaps her head towards him with a very ‘are you serious?’ look. There was no way he was doing all this and expecting her to be completely unfazed. “Only for you,” she mutters quietly, her voice barely there as she pulled up opposite the gym.

He noticed she stopped the car, yet he didn't pull away. He kept leaving a trail of small kisses along the expanse of her neck, his hand slipping under her skirt to make home between her thighs. Yuna felt incredibly warm, but that didn’t stop Taehyung from skimming his fingertips over the dampening material of her panties.

"You don’t know how much I want to do you right here, right now."

“Why…?” Yuna sat there with her head tilted to the side, eyes squeezed shut and hands gripping at the wheel. “The gym is a much more important than this..” she breathes out, trying to push her needs away as far as possible. It wasn’t exactly appropriate to get touchy in the car with people walking past.

Taehyung would only hum, "Yeah, I guess you’re right, but.." He pulled away from her neck and nuzzled his nose against her cheek. "Think you can open your mouth for me? Just for a second. Please?"

It was a bit of an odd request, but she couldn’t turn him down. Yuna turned to face him, inches away from him as she opened her mouth like he had asked, gazing at him with anticipation.

He flashed a huge grin.

"Good girl."

He then settled her chin between his thumb and index finger, forcing her mouth to fall open so he could, generously, spit into her mouth.

Why? He was too horny for his own good. The image of her strutting in those 5 inch heels (it didn’t seem like a lot, but it was).

Yuna stared at him, absolutely dumbfounded as her mouth came to a close on its own, unconsciously swallowing the thick string of saliva coating her tongue.

And before she could say anything, Taehyung left a kiss on her cheek and got out of the car. "I’ll call you when I’m done. See you later." He winked at her and closed the car door behind him and walking towards the entrance of the gym, not even batting an eye back at her.

Turned on was an understatement on her end. She didn’t have the patience nor the time to wait, so she quickly drove off home, thinking about the little one-to-one session she and her pillow would be having once she got home.

Taehyung spent at least two hours at the gym, with the added time of showering and changing there.

As he left the building, he pulled out his phone and called Yuna. His muscles felt sore and he felt pretty exhausted, but he knew he had something else to do when he got back to hers. He couldn’t leave her hanging for the whole day.

Still half dressed and a random pillow between her legs, Yuna tried to get herself off in her bedroom, rolling her hips against the fluffed up pillow to help her reach her orgasm, but her phone vibrating next to her completely cut her out of it, making her groan. Wiping the sheer gloss of sweat adorning her cheeks, she picked up her phone, seeing Taehyung’s name taking over the screen.

Yuna halted her movements, staring at the screen for a couple seconds, trying to catch her breath before picking up. “Hi.. Are you finished?” she asks, her voice shaky over the phone.

Taehyung opened his mouth to answer, but stopped himself upon hearing the girl’s strained voice. He immediately grinned, having already figured out what she was up to.

Turns out, he could read her like an open book, even through a phone call.

"I could ask you the same thing. Are you done or are you so miserable to not get off without me anymore?"

The cockiness could be heard within his tone from miles away. Just his voice could make her grow more excited as she started to move again, this time not bothering to try and hide it. “I’m not finished yet..”she admits, tugging at her bottom lip as she gripped onto the pillow. “Are you? I’ll come and pick you up now?”

"Oh, please, take your time. You can pick me up when you finally understand that whatever you are using to help you right now, will not do the things I can do to you,” he spoke, letting out an amused chuckle from the bottom of his throat, making it sound deep and harsh and ending the call just like that. Taehyung then started walking around, before he decided to walk to the mall that was on the opposite side of the street.

With the call now cut, Yuna let out a frustrated sigh, getting off the bed and throwing her underwear and pants back on. She already knew nothing would ever compare to what he could make her feel, and she needed him to know that.

Heels on, she rushed out of the house and got in the car, driving to the gym to see if he was still there, and much to her luck, he was not. Yuna stepped out of the car, parking it on the side of the main road before walking to the mall. She tried calling him again and again, but there was no answer.

Taehyung on the other hand, was busy shopping for himself, walking around the nearby mall. He decided to wander around the shops, while waiting for Yuna. He did a bit of his own shopping, picking out a couple suits and dress shirts for work.

Yuna continued to wander about, a few items on display catching her eye and being tempted to buy them, but she had to remind herself of the main reason why she was at the mall.

She took a few glances around at the busy people, hoping to spot Taehyung, and much luck to herself and her very perceptive eyes, she was able to notice his unique, dark locks from a mile away, stood outside the store ahead of her and holding a bunch of bags.

Taehyung failed to notice her storming towards him, too distracted by the various footwear on display in one of the stores. Not men’s footwear.

Women’s.

His body disappeared into the store, triggering the frustrated Yuna to let out a heavy huff, following him into the store. With his back turned to her, she stepped behind him, tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention.

“Hm?” Taehyung turned around a little startled at how you got to him so quick considering what she was doing before she arrived. He showed her a grin, an he held onto his bags tightly. "Ah, there you are. I was just thinking about you."

Yuna narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. “Why? Because I can’t get off without you?” she whispers, crossing her arms with a slightly annoyed look on her face.

"That is one of the two reasons, actually." His grin grew bigger, while his eyes very obviously checked her out; up and down. "What is your shoe size?"

She furrows her eyebrows at him, “A five,” she finally tells him, tapping her foot against the floor.

"Perfect,” He winks at her, disappearing into women's section to look around, leaving Yuna at the store entrance.

Taehyung called a sales assistant over and spoke to her, deliberating on the perfect pair of heels for his wonderful girlfriend, and after a couple minutes of talking, the sales assistant excused herself to the back of the store, picking out the perfect pair of heels. The lady didn’t spend too pick, emerging from the back with a black shoe box, allowing Taehyung to take a quick look before confirming his thoughts.

The lady guided him to the till Yuna catching on and following. behind him, grabbing a firm hold of his arm and resting her chin on his shoulder. Her eyes watched the lady behind the counter process his payment before looking over at him.

“What did you buy?”

"Ah, just something for my lovely girlfriend." He grabbed the bag back and said his goodbyes to the worker, before leaving the store and pulling Yuna out with him. "Or my lovely little whore, if you please."

Yuna could only pout as he dragged her out of the mall “Let’s just go home, please…” she whines, clearly not in the mood for his little remarks.

Taehyung would laugh softly at her, wrapping his free arm around her waist. "Awe, is my girl pouty because she couldn’t get herself off?"

“You made me drive to the gym, and then you weren’t there, so I had come all the way to the mall, wander around to find you and when I do, you’re shopping for shoes.. You’re enjoying this much more than I am,” she mumbles, turning her head away from him.

As they both walked over to the car, Taehyung let go of her to settle inside. "Don’t worry, baby. I’ll give you everything and more once we’re home. If you’re still in the mood, that is."

Yuna didn’t say anything, silently getting in the drivers seat, putting her seatbelt on and starting up the car. She didn’t bother to look at him, solely focusing on the road and occasionally tapping her fingers against the steering wheel.

He stayed silent; looking out of the window. He genuinely felt bad for her, mistakenly assuming he made her uncomfortable. But after few minutes, his eyes landed on her again, noticing the loose strands of hair over her face, but he kept his hands to himself even though he really wanted to touch her.

Yuna, on the other hand, was speeding down the road, desperate to get home as soon as possible. She left her house earlier without finishing and it felt like it was eating her alive.

When they finally got home, she handed him his car keys and got out of the vehicle, rushing to her front door to unlock it so it would be easier for him to carry all the bags in. “One session at the gym ended up being a whole shopping spree, huh?”

Taehyung followed right behind her, grabbing all the bags and locking the car, carefully walking over to her and hiding his keys in his pocket. He genuinely thought she was pissed off, and honestly, he was pretty unsteady whenever she’d get mad. He had the bitter pleasure of experiencing your anger first-hand his whole life.

Yuna opens the door, slipping out of her heels as Taehyung went to drop the bags on the sofa.

“I’m gonna go upstairs and change, I’ll be down in a few minutes,” she tells him, before rushing upstairs into her bedroom to see she left the room in a mess; her sheets were creased, her used pillow sitting u touched right at the centre of her bed, She cursed quietly to herself and got to tidying up, hiding any evidence of what she was doing before leaving the house to pick him up.

Taehyung let her disappear before rummaging through all the bags, looking for the one with his gift for her in it and when he finally found it, he quietly made his way upstairs and waited outside the bedroom, assuming she was there, and waited for her to ‘change', even though he knew damn well she was just trying to cover up her tracks.

Yuna managed to make her room look a little more presentable than earlier, so she opened the door, seeing Taehyung stood outside. “Oh, did you need something?” She asks, leaning against the doorframe with a smile, trying to play off the panic she was in just a few seconds before.

She was a shit liar and so, he pushed past her smaller frame and stepped into the room, setting himself on the edge of her bed. “I wanted to give you the shoes I bought for you,” he winks at her, looking around the room for any sign of the special pillow.

“You really didn’t need to buy me anything, Taehyung..” she says quietly, trying to be humble as she took a seat next to him.

Taehyung handed her the heavy bag, "Oh, please. I wanted to, besides, treat this as a thank you for being my chauffeur and driving me around all day," yes, that and looking sexy whilst driving. He was sure she’d like it and he’d like it even more on her.

Yuna took the bag from his hands, pulling the box out of the bag, feeling that it was pretty heavy. She untied the ribbon around the box, letting it fall on her lap as she opened up the box, revealing a pair of patent leather black heels, the shine reflecting off the dim light of her bedroom.

A small gasp left her lips as she dropped the lid onto the floor, skimming her finger against the leather.

Taehyung carefully watches her, trying to hide his smile by bitting down on his lip. "If you don’t like it, we can return it, but I’d really like see you try them on."

“We are not returning these, I love them!” Yuna takes one pair out of the box, analysing the shoe in her hands. “I hope I don’t fall in them,” she chuckles, placing the box on the side of the bed, and slipping it onto her foot. She stood up to make sure it fit, and it fit perfectly, giving her the a-ok to wear the other pair. Yuna stood up to move in front of him and took a few steps back, giving him a little twirl to show off the shoes. “If only I weren’t wearing tights, they’d look much better on me.”

Taehyung watched her intently, basking in the admiring the sleekness of the heels adorning her feet "Just take them off. After all, I bought them for you, so you could show me your legs more often,” he says, reaching his hands out to tug on Yuna’s tights lightly, desperate for her to take them off.

“Are you sure you’re not just trying get your hands in my underwear?” she jokes, taking the heels off and bringing her hands down to where his were, swiftly pulling the article down her legs and letting it pool at her ankles. She steps out of the muddle and slips her feet into the heels again with some support from Taehyung yunf.

“Okay, how’s this?” she asks, taking a step back as she stood there in her underwear and her crème button up, trying to show off the heels.

"You look perfect,” he breathes out, drinking in the sight of Yuna’s bare legs before standing up and walking around her form, eager to get a look at her with the heels from every angle possible.

He then stopped behind her, pressing his chest firmly against her back before whispering,"Best purchase I’ve ever made.” Taehyung’s voice was soft, hoarse almost, as if he lacked the air to be more firm with his words. She could tell from the way his breath tickled the back of her neck.

A blush crept up on her face as she turned around to face him, her face just inches away from his. “Thank you for the shoes..” she says softly, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss (the heels added a couple inches to her height, but Taehyung was still a million times taller than her).

"Mhm, my pleasure."

Before he knew it, their lips were moulding into a soft kiss, Taehyung tilting his head to the side as his hands slid down to her waist and eventually settling to grab the hem of her shirt. Yuna pushed her body closer to his as her hands tangled with the hairs on the back of his head, lightly pulling on his locks as she hummed against his lips, already growing out of breath after just 10 seconds of making out.

Eventually they both pulled away, lips slightly puffy, but not as much as they normally are after one of these sessions.

"I have been meaning to ask you something rather important.." Taehyung starts, mindlessly tugging at her shirt.

“Yeah?”

"Where’s the second pillow?" He cocks a brow at her and sets his eyes on Yuna’s bed, noticing one empty spot among all her cushions, which he could only assume was the spot her ‘special pillow’ previously sat.

“Ah..” she chuckles nervously, looking down at her feet and then back up at him. “That’s for me to know, and for you to never find out,” she shrugs with a smug look on her face.

"Oh, really now?" he faked a pout, leaning in to press his forehead against hers. "I guess that’s fine. I mean, I already have a theory on what happened to it."

“Oh, really now?” she repeats his words almost mockingly. “Enlighten me, Mr Kim. What could’ve possibly happened to the pillow?”

Taehyung pulled away, tightening his grip on her hips as he leaned over to practically groan in her ear. "I think you got so high and horny from me just spitting in your mouth, that you felt like your cunt needed a good fuck, but unfortunately, I wasn’t there to assist you, so being the desperate slut that you are, you tried to fuck your precious pillow to try and cum, but you obviously failed."

Hearing exactly what she did coming from him, definitely made her sound a lot more desperate and obvious than she thought she was. “Well when you put it like that…” Yuna trails off, looking down at her feet now feeling too embarrassed to even look him in the eye.

Taehyung laughed, burying his face in the crook of her neck to a deep kiss against her unmarked skin. "So it’s true, is it not, darling?" He pulled away from her neck and looked down at her, gently lifting her chin with his thumb and index finger, forcing Yuna to look up at him.

She tilts her head to the side, looking up, pretending to think to herself. “And what if it is true? We can’t really do anything about it now since it’s in the past,” she replies, her gaze just as challenging as his.

"We can’t? Oh, dear.." Taehyung took a step away from her, "And I thought I could give you what you really craved, but oh well.."

“No! Wait..” she pouts, stepping closer to him and grabbing both his hands, placing them on her hips. “I.. couldn’t finish with the pillow..” she starts, shying away from his gaze. “The pillow couldn’t make me feel the way you do,” Yuna admits quietly, squeezing his hands.

“Ah, that’s such a shame.." He couldn't help but tease her a little, moving his hand from her hip down to her thigh and settling between them. "And what shall we do about that now? I mean.. It is in the past now."

Yuna knew he was playing around, teasing her and trying to get her to say what she wanted out loud, but if she were to submit to him, it would leave a very irreparable dent on her ego and his hands were so close to where she needed him most, he just needed to move his hand a little higher.

“You know what you’re doing..” she mumbles.

"Of course I do. I’m trying to make you say what exactly you want from me." His hand trailed up and down her thighs, with every move, his hand got closer to her clothed cunt, but didn't dare to touch her yet, not until he got what he wanted from her.

“Please, you know what I want, Tae..” she tries to sound angry, but her words come out as a desperate whine. If Yuna gave him what he wanted, he would forget about it and m not hesitate to use it against her when the opportunity arises. But, she’d been waiting for this for several hours. Now she had the chance to finally get what she wanted, and that was the only thing on her mind.

“I want your hands.. and you’re tongue..” she whispers, hoping he’d show her some mercy.

Taehyung’s smirk grew bigger, his fingers finally brushing over the damp centre of her panties, wasting no time in rubbing slow, circular motions with his thumb against her throbbing clit. A heavy sigh of relief sounded from Yuna, finally having the man she needed most help her finish what she started.

“See? Good things happen you listen.”

Yuna nodded at his words, placing her hands on his shoulders, gripping onto his clothes to keep herself steady as her legs buckled beneath her, hips edging themselves towards his thumb for more.

Taehyung shifted to use his whole hand to rub her through her panties, using so much force and pressure, he could’ve sworn he almost lifted her off the floor and it elicited a sharp gasp from Yuna. He then leaned his head to the side of her own, as his tongue went to lick her earlobe.

Her grip on his shoulder was much tighter than before, knuckles almost turning white. She could barely keep herself standing, the heels making it even harder for her as her legs shook and her hips started to move on their own; back and forth against his hand.

Taehyung’s breath hitched in his throat, as he felt his hand soak up the arousal from between his legs, too much actually, he had to force his hand away from her, putting a halt to her desperation chase. "How about you show me what you did to that pillow when I was gone, but we make it a little more exciting?"

“Exciting?” she questions, pulling away from him and dragging him towards the bed. She climbed onto the bed, sitting right at the centre, sitting with her heels still on either side of her.

He adjusts his rings around his digits, playing around with them, "How about you set yourself on my lap? I bet you look like an absolute masterpiece riding my thigh.”

Yuna’s eyes wandered down to his torso, already seeing a very prominent bulge forming against his pants. She snapped her eyes back up to him and nodded eagerly. “But would you be able to handle it?” she asks, obviously trying to provoke him.

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about me.." he says back down on the bed, "If I feel like I can’t handle it, I will simply fuck you harder than before and leave you with the inability to do nothing but cum for me on command,” he flashes her a wink, biting down on his bottom lip as he pat his thigh, giving her the all-clear.

Just the simple gesture of him patting his thigh for her to sit on almost made her cum on the spot, but Yuna knew better than to cum untouched. She crawled over to him on the bed, climbing over his lap so she was snow traddling his thigh. She lifted herself off of him a couple of times to adjust herself so she was stable before pressing her clothed cunt down against him, the contact against his dress pants making her wince.

“Maybe if you’re good, I’ll let you take your panties off, but not just yet." His hands reached down to take off his belt and discard of it elsewhere, unbuttoning his pants to make make more room for his growing bulge.

Taehyung’s words went through one ear and out the other since she was already making a move. Yuna licked over her bottom lip as her hips started to move back and forth against his thigh, trying to get herself a bit more riled up. Any subtle contact between her legs would easily set her off as she looked down between their bodies, taking notice of the damp little puddle on his pants from where her soaked pussy sat.

“Look at you, makin’ a mess,” he taunts, generously rubbing the small of her back without disturbing her provocative actions.

The constant brushing of her clit against his thigh left her in pieces. She was throwing her head back, gripping onto the hem of her shirt to make the pleasure more bearable, but it was useless. Yuna gazed down at him with hooded eyes and red cheeks, “D-don’t look at me..” she breathes out, slightly embarrassed to be seen in such a state.

He reached his hand up to wrap around her throat gently, yet the hint of force was noticeable as Taehyung urged her to keep her eyes on him. "Oh, baby, but I want to look at you. And you’re gonna look at me and show me how much you’re enjoying this,” he taunts her, letting his eyes drop down to witness the growing mess on his lap. It was the perfect way to show Yuna just how powerless she was around him,

She wanted to cuss him out so bad. The urge to call him an asshole stayed at the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t dare to let it slip, knowing full well it wouldn’t get her anywhere, She looked down between her legs, noticing how damp and sticky his thigh had become because of her actions and it was almost degrading to see how how easily she was aroused by such little contact. But still, Yuna couldn’t stop. She was so desperate to cum, she was almost there.

“So close, Tae…”

Both his hands now land on her hips, helping her fuck herself hard enough to make her orgasm come quicker. "Come on, baby, cum for me. Nothing’s stopping you.”

Yuna’s mouth had fallen slack, giving Taehyung the perfect opportunity to slaver into her mouth, watching as some of the thick substance landed on the side of her lips, slowly dripping down on them.

She stuck her tongue out to lick at the excess, desperate for a taste as his blasphemous words were enough for her orgasm to come crashing down on her; inner thighs squeezing around him as the very obvious substance of white piled onto his pants. Yuna flipped her hair to the side as she brought a hand down her body and to her sensitive clit, gently playing with the sensitive bud to help ride out her orgasm.

Taehyung hummed, gently grazing her cheek with his fingertips. "Such a good girl, doing as I say. How about you come sit on my face and my tongue’ll do you a million times better?”

Yuna climbed off his lap, crawling onto the bed and sitting on her knees, patiently waiting for him like a lost puppy. There was a short silence between the two as she thought for a moment. She’d never sat on someone’s face before, and from all the pornos she’d watched, it looked pretty enjoyable, but she didn’t wanna mess up.

“I do.. but I’ve never done it before,” she admits, taking off the buttons of her button up, pulling the material down her arms and discarding it onto the floor, leaving her in her bra.

"And that’s a problem because?" Taehyung shot her a warm smile getting ready and lying on his back. He undid his pants a little to give his straining erection some breathing room.

Yuna felt reassured knowing he wasn’t put off by it, so she climbed over his body, straddling his torso before lifting herself slightly and moving higher and higher up his body until her bare cunt was hovering above his face. “If I’m hurting you, just squeeze my thigh really hard and I’ll stop.”

Taehyung didn’t need to be told. Getting hurt was the last thing he cared about. Hell, Yuna could suffocate him between her thighs and he still wouldn’t give a damn about his life. But just for her sake, "Alright, I promise I will." He tried his best to look up at her to provide some moral support, but the glistening, in front of his face made it hard for him, yet he still managed. He then took a deep breath and licked his lips a bit, which wasn't necessary since her cunt was soaked.

Slowly and carefully, Yuna started sinking herself down against his mouth, Taehyung immediately trapping her puffy clit between his lips and sucking harshly, almost forcing her down onto his face. She didn’t dare to move yet, waiting a few seconds for him to adjust before she was given permission to move.

Taehyung let out a hum against her, the vibrations causing her spine to tingle as he set a firm slap on her thigh, letting her know that she was allowed to move.

She started to rock her hips against his tongue slowly as her body stuttered above him from his teasing licks. She was still trying to get used to it all but it felt immense with his tongue all up inside her as her walls clenched around him in a bid to keep him there. Her small whimpers were becoming louder by the second and soon enough, Yuna picked up the pace at her own accord.

Taehyung’s tongue was delving between her folds, running up against her slit teasingly before plunging his tongue into her tight hole, thrusting inside of her and occasionally pulling out to show some love to her beat folds. It was getting harder for him to catch a breath, but he was enjoying himself too much to stop; trailing his hands up to cup her bouncing tits, squeezing them within his grasp squeezing and pinching her tout nipples between his fingers.

Yuna tried to refrain from making too much noise but failed miserably when his tongue reached deep inside of her, brushing against her walls and not once did she stop moving. “Hmph— more…” If anything, her movements only became more aggressive as she desperately tried to chase her second orgasm of the night that was already nearing.

Taehyung would feel the need to groan into her soaked cunt, catching a few breaths before the tip of his nose was budging against her clit again. It made his dick jump in his pants non-stop, and when he suddenly felt Yuna’s hands gripping at his hair, shoving his face deeper against her legs, he managed to cop a taste of her orgasm lacing his tongue.

She was way far too lost within the pleasure, having little to no time to give Taehyung a warning as she let loose all over his tongue, muttering a string of curse words that he was (for sure) gonna scold her for later.

Yuna’s body was a shaking mess as her hips slowed down and eventually she shifted down his body, getting a better look at his face and making sure he was okay.

When she finally got off of him after hitting her orgasm, Taehyung gasped, his cheeks flushed and lips swollen, glistening with her arousal as his eyes landed on her. His breathing was heavy and unsteady, but he managed to catch the missed strings of cum that had landed on his chin. “Mhm, you never fail to disappoint, my love.”

That wasn’t enough to ease Yuna’s overthinking, as she grabbed onto his arm and pulled him to sit up whilst she sat on his lap. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” she asks, piling more and more questions on top of him and holding his face in her hands.

It was cute how concerned she was, and he showed her a soft smile of reassurance. "I’m okay. Don’t worry about me, you were amazing." Taehyung nuzzles his cheek against her palm, basking in her warmth.

Yuna showed him a fond smile, brushing her thumb over his cheek as she felt a sudden twitch between her legs. She looked down between their bodies to see his heavily straining erection sitting directly under her abused cunt, desperate to be freed. “Can you handle it?” she asks him again, clearly challenging the older man.

He doesn’t waste another second, pulling away from her and taking off any clothing he had on and throwing it into the corner of the room, leaving his cock stiff and ready. Taehyung looked back at her, leaving yet another kiss on her lips, giving Yuna a taste of what she’d left behind.

She lifted herself of his lap so his tip was aligned with her entrance, slowly sinking herself down him, leaking head sliding into her with such ease, there was barely any pain as her mouth fell open against his lips. Taehyung took the chance he was given and kissed Yuna again, this time with more desperation and need; his tongue swiping along her bottom lip from time to time, as he buried himself deep inside her.

“Shit— you’re so warm..”

As he fucked slowly started to himself into her, Yuna found it more and more difficult to kiss him back as a string of profanities and curses left her mouth from the overbearing pleasure. “Oh, God.. Fuck— Taehyung..!” The tip of his cock was repeatedly bruising against her sweet spot; right where she needed him and it left her breaking down on top of him.

Taehyung finally gave up on her lips and went to leave a trail of hot kisses down her neck, the kisses soon becoming little nips and bites he was certain would leave marks all over. “Hm, all this just because you couldn’t wait for me, huh?” His hands rested on the small of her back, guiding his cock to push inside her with the added subtle thrust of his hip. His lips latched onto her nipple, coating the hard bud in his saliva as he groaned.

Yuna’s hands tangled themselves in his hair, her grip tightening in sync to her walls clamping down on him as she failed to process the man’s demeaning words. He was merely speaking the truth.

The mess between her legs was certainly a site; a mixture of her arousal and cum dripping down the base of his length as the sounds of skin slapping, and Yuna’s broken moans filled the room.

He didn't even bother to warn her, slamming his dick inside of her and forcing a cry to rip from her throat. Taehyung’s pace was relentless as he continuously thrusted into her, not giving a care in the world whether Yuna could handle it or not.

She was gonna take everything he gave her.

Before he knew it, thick, warm strings of cum tarnished her insides. He didn't care that he finished before her, all he cared about was draining himself empty in her warmth, and he knew Yuna would take it, feeling his cock twitch uncontrollably between her mesh walls.

“You okay, Yuna?” Taehyung asks softly, rubbing small circles over her lower back as she wrapped her arms around him, bringing his head closer to her chest.

“Mhm…” Her hold wasn’t too tight, she’d fallen limp in his arms and all she could feel now was his cock pumping her full of his cum, slowly peeking out from between her legs.

In a bid to recover from his orgasm, Taehyung carefully thrusted into her a couple more times, making sure he had nothing left within him, only eager to give Yuna all that he could muster.

He could only smile at her form, taking in how tired and exhausted she was, and it warmed his heart immensely at how eager she was to be please him, yet, Yuna could just breathe and he’d be all over her.

“You did good, my love..” Taehyung whispers softly, caressing her head gently and leaving her within his hold, eventually falling asleep in each other’s arms.

taglist: @satorinnie @rosedtae @jimin444 @bts-ruu @ishi091 @tan-veee @loomipee @yange7l

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[sukunasweetheart]

A better way to enjoy chocolate.

Pretty much just reader trying to give Sukuna some chocolates on Valentines. Highschool AU, gender-neutral reader, SFW content

Sukuna looks at the pile of boxed chocolates, seemingly unphased. Everyone peers to look. “Uwah! You got so much this year!” Yuuji exclaims. “Ridiculous.” He sighs, shoving all of them into a disposable plastic bag. “It’s actually pretty amazing how you went out of your way to bring your own plastic bag for this. You were expecting this, weren’t you? Pretentious bastard,” Nobara adds. “Well, it does happen every year,” Megumi says as he casually scrolls through his phone.

Megumi's the first one to leave for class and Nobara and Yuuji follow after him. You look at the daunting bag of chocolates Sukuna holds in his hand and gulps. “Do you like chocolate, Sukuna?” You ask him carefully. “...Not particularly. I don’t like sweet things. But if I throw these out, that idiot’ll never stop yapping about it. Something about going to hell if you waste food. So annoying,” he clicks his tongue. You offer a laugh at his brutal honesty, quietly regretting your own chocolates that you had made to give him today.

The two of you were dating anyway, so it wasn’t exactly necessary, right? Sukuna discreetly gives you a side glance, but you don’t notice it.

Morning classes passed by without much happening, and it soon became lunch. You watch as a classmate approaches Sukuna at his desk and holds her own homemade chocolate out towards him. “Hey. I just wanted to give you this. No feelings involved though, so don’t worry about it,” she tells him. This was obviously said for you to hear, since there was almost nobody in this school who didn’t know of his relationship with you (Sukuna is notorious for just as many reasons as Yuuji is...maybe a little more towards the sinister side of things). This apparently didn’t stop people from trying though, unfortunately. It would be a lie if you said you didn’t feel the least bothered by this. Sukuna looks at her lazily, and just gestures towards the bulging plastic bag that lay beside his desk. The class atmosphere freezes up a little as everyone looks over. S-So cold…! They all thought in unison.

However, the girl just gives a small chuckle as if she had been expecting such a reaction and just added hers onto the pile before going back to her own group of friends. “What a cruel guy,” Nobara gives Sukuna a look of distaste. He shrugs in response and proceeds to yawn. “Now, now…” You naturally take the role of the peacemaker, simultaneously thinking about what you should do with your chocolates. You had actually made four small bags, one for each of your friends. They were wrapped in clear plastic sleeves, tied up with a ribbon on top. Except, Sukuna’s one is...

Yuuji and Megumi both stroll in through the classroom door. “Yo~! We came to visit. Let’s eat lunch here today!” He says cheerfully. The two of them take the empty seats of the students who went to the cafeteria to eat. You couldn’t give the chocolates to Sukuna in front of them. Then you’d have to give him his as well - or else it'd feel like you were excluding him. Guess I'll just give it to them later on, privately.

“And? Where’s our choco, Y/N?” Nobara cheekily grins at you. You freeze up, mind giving you a throwback to the memories of last night when you had told her of your plans in advance. Silent panic echoes in your mind. “I-It’s,” You feel Sukuna’s gaze shift onto you, “...In my bag!” You hurriedly rummage your bag and pull out the three bags, making sure to avoid eye contact. “I made one for all three of you…” You say, avoiding eye contact with him. “Eh? You made one for us too?” Yuuji asks, wide-eyed. “Yeah. I thought I’d give it a try this year.” You hand them all over. “Thanks, Y/N!” Yuuji immediately opens it and plops one into his mouth. “It’s good!” Megumi also gives you a thanks but puts it to the side for now, wanting to finish his lunch first. Nobara gives you a questioning look. “What about Sukuna?” “Eh? Ah, I... kind of figured he didn’t like sweets so,” you turn to face him. “Sorry, Sukuna. Should I have made you some as well? I wasn’t sure if couples who were already dating gave chocolates on Valentines.” It’s a painful lie, but you manage to say it. “...No. I don't really care.” He looks entirely unaffected. It kind of hurt in its own way, but you ignore it and sigh out of relief for now. It was way too embarrassing to give it to him in front of the group. But now that you've said such a lie, you don't think you’ll be able to give it to him at all anymore. There was a bit of an awkward silence momentarily, but Yuuji being Yuuji - naturally carried the group's conversation elsewhere.

A few minutes later, Sukuna stands up to go to the toilet. Whilst Yuuji and Megumi are talking about something that you admittedly zoned out on, Nobara snatches up your bag and takes a peek inside. “H-Hey!” You shout-whispered. “...I knew it. You did make them! Why are you-” She stops and notices their shape. “That’s so...cute?” She gives out an amused laugh and quietly puts it back down. You fan at your face, cheeks aching with embarrassment. “Make sure you give them to him. Trust me. I’ll beat him up if he doesn’t appreciate it,” she tells you. “I’ll try…” you say meekly. Unbeknownst to you, Yuuji grins at Megumi upon hearing this and Megumi responds with his own subtle smile. 

- The bell rings for the end of school. Sukuna stands and leaves first, telling you that he had something he needed to do after school and that you should go home first. Before you can stop him, he's already left the classroom. “Go after him,” Nobara pushes you, so you hurriedly pack your things up before running out.

More than ten minutes have passed, and you can’t find him. You want to call or text him, but you’re worried that he was in the midst of doing something important. It’s rare of him to stay back at school, after all. You sigh, and tell yourself that you’ll just give up with this year’s one.

Walking out of the school’s entrance, you see Sukuna standing nearby with his usual bored expression, hands in his pockets. He catches sight of you and immediately approaches. “I thought you had something to do at school?” You start to say. “Obviously a lie. What took you so damn long?” He scratches the back of his head in annoyance. “I was looking for you inside! Also why did you lie?” You question him. “Nevermind that. You could have just called...No, that’s not the issue right now. Give.” He suddenly stretches his palm out in front of you. “Eh? Give what?” The thought of the chocolates go right over your head.

“You...the thing that you gave to everyone else except me. I know you have mine. Don’t keep me waiting,” He says, frowning. The realisation hits you like a truck and you give him a helpless smile. “How’d you know…?” You ask, quick to reach into your bag. “How long do you think I’ve known you for? The others probably knew too,” he says nonchalantly. “But I thought you wouldn’t want them...you've gotten so much. And you don’t even like sweets.” You place the bag gently on his palm. “Idiot. We’re dating. There’s no reason to not accept them if you've made some for me.” He gives them a look and grins.  “Oh…? Now I understand why you couldn’t give it to me in front of the others.”

Only Sukuna’s chocolates were heart-shaped, when the others' had been circular ones. He’d rather die than admit it, but he thrives on getting this kind of special attention from you. You get flustered and look at your feet. “It’s true that I don’t really like sweets.” He tells you suddenly. “You don’t have to force yourself to eat them-” “But there’s a way of eating them that would make it taste a bit better,” he cuts you off. You were confused as to what he was talking about, and you watched as he opened the bag and popped one of them into his mouth before pulling you in for a kiss.

Your eyes were widened in shock as you barely had the time to register all of this - he was already slipping his tongue into your mouth. One hand on your hip, and the other on the back of your neck, you're so close to his body, getting pulled into his warmth that threatens to melt you, the taste of the chocolate starting to spreading across your taste buds as he's making out with you passionately. Before you know it, you're reciprocating the gesture and kissing him back, your hands rising up, gripping tightly onto his uniform. Chocolate has never tasted any sweeter. You can feel your own body beginning to heat up and you're gradually running out of breath. As your tongue is intertwining with his, the chocolate is getting pushed back and forth, and your desire to get even closer to him is growing, growing, growing.

The last of the chocolate had melted away from the exhilarating temperature the two of you had built up and he finally breaks the kiss, leaving you breathless and gasping for air. You can't tell if this remaining aftertaste that lingered on your tongue was the taste of the chocolate, or the taste of him. Nonetheless, you adore it.

“Much better.” He licks his lips and smirks at you. Still in shock, you lack a response except for your flustered face and your eyes that are now reflecting a glint of lust within. Sukuna hums in satisfaction at this expression of yours and he gently drags his thumb across your lower lip.

“We should do this more often.”

[dumpsterlmao]

something urgent - kohaku oukawa

summary - you approached kohaku to tell him about an urgent notice. he may or may have almost believed that he got into trouble but that was just all just false.

genre - fluff and swearing ahead lol

a/n: long time no post but yayyy, i'm now back to writing!! 🥰<33 more of my enstars fics will be posted soon!

you were just on your way downstairs to grab a cup of water and maybe take a break by eating a snack. you took a seat by yourself and drank your water bottle. kohaku notices you sitting at a table by yourself. he glances at you for a second until his bandmates came to break his silence.

"what's got you staring like that, huh?" rinne asks letting out a snickered laugh to which kohaku rolled his eyes in response. "or did your brain stopped working for a second?" kohaku ignored his question. "hm, you seem to be staring at mc over there." himeru guesses. "aww, kohaku has a crush on mc?" niki adds in. kohaku looks at him with embarassment as his cheeks were already colored red. "no, i fucking don't."

kohaku's reaction made the three boys let out a laugh. you heard a noise of laughter right at at crazy:b's table. they were in their usual mood as always, but you didn't expect himeru to be full into energy. as you noticed kohaku, you then remember about the urgent schedule that you were suppose to inform him. yet you hadn't since you were too busy completing other works.

you stood up from your table to approach him. kohaku noticed foosteps towards him and he had a surprised reaction upon seeing you. he didn't expect you to appear so suddenly. rinne kept holding in his laughter, on the verge to blurt out kohaku's silly crush on you, but niki nudged his shoulder a couple times to avoid him from doing that. "stop punching my arm you stupid fuck." niki yelped in pain from his punch. "but i'll let it slide since kohaku-" himeru proceeds to cover his loud mouth. "are you done fuckin' around? you forgot that mc is here." kohaku glares at rinne.

you glanced to your watch and realised that your breaktime was almost over. you needed to get things done. "kohaku." you patted on his shoulder. "i'm gonna need you around the next hour for something urgent." kohaku nods at your reminder. rinne notices the tone of your voice sounding very serious. "oooh, is it because this little shit here did something wrong?" he lets out a laugh.

"OW!-" rinne harshly places his hand onto kohaku's shoulder. kohaku already had the urge to punch his face at this time. "no, it's something else that i would rather not prefer to disclose." you stated. "alright, i'll be there." kohaku answers. you nodded back at his response.

it was now time for you to leave to go on with your business. "that's all i have to remind, see you later kohaku and please be present." kohaku was still confused but he goes on with your saying. "rinne seems to be right, himeru also assumes that you might have did something wrong." himeru says.

"ah, way to go to ruin your first move." niki commented. "it's okay, there's still plenty of chicks waitin' for ya kohaku. HAHAHAHA!" rinne teases the poor boy. "shut the fuck up." kohaku blatanly said. "even if i did something wrong to upset mc, then i'll just resolve it." he added. "look at you acting so confident, it's hilarious to hear the things you would do to please them." rinne teases him once again. "but let's not forget that you most likely did cause trouble for mc." niki remembers to which kohaku answered, "mc hasn't said shit yet. don't go into conclusions already."

the three boys continued to tease kohaku as a joke that he got scolded by you. "oooohhh, busted." niki lets out a laugh. "goodluck with mc kohaku, maybe you won't make it out alive but who knows!" and with that, rinne was never to be heard after that sentence.

[ay0nha]

Newton's Laws of Potion  | Severus Snape

Thank you anon for the request!

Pairing: Severus Snape x femme!reader (Ravenclaw)

Word Count: ~1.5K

Warnings: Not movie/book timeline accurate, slowburn, touch-starved Snape of sorts, etc. Unrelated title that I pulled out of my ass

A/N: I’ve strayed slightly from the original request, but I’ve officially done it lmaoooo...it’s on the shorter side, but this was a fun brain break to write. Might have to do a part two yule ball sm sm, but no promises. Enjoy and thank you for the encouragement! Especially @sempervenefica :))

Also if you have a better title name, lmk (my default is puns because I love them)

Her unrefinement showed in her teaching methods which only aided in how she got under Severus' skin with little effort.  Most new hires he wasn't fond of, but her, she created her own, distinct category of bothersome.  There was always a problem she presented him with a solution at the ready. It was all a ploy to remind Severus what she thought of him, something he never asked for, let alone desired.

Severus watched her polished finger move from left to right across the paper, repeating the recipe of the potion as if he hadn't come up with it himself, "...Here, this is where I'm confused..."

Reading it back himself, he saw how she questioned his key ingredient. The very thing that took him too long to discover. He earned his title rightfully and the muggle-born witch thought otherwise.

Only continuing to add to the onset headache he felt, she said, "By adding the live element of the plant, you leave too much room for error on part of the students."

"Good," He bit lightly, "It'll weed out the true talent."

"They are getting confused and with this," She presented yet again her premade solution, "It's the exact same outcome without your repercussions."

"You're creating a primitive potion."

"An age-appropriate one," She countered.

Rarely did she back down from his scowl. It became easier once she began tutoring the children that sought out her help, too afraid to approach the Slytherin. Rather, the Ravenclaw would use her personal time to make sure every student demonstrated the skills needed in order to face Snape yet again.

"Do you question my teaching methods?"

His eyes scanned her for honesty, eyes landed on the various patterns of ink that were collected on her skin. He realized now he'd never been able to make each image out as clearly as he could now.  Her appearance now reflected how most thought of her when she was first introduced by Dumbledore a handful of months prior; callous, harsh, and adversarial. Soon enough, the stigma around her ink-littered skin broke due to her true demeanor which showed nothing but warmth and virtue.

Severus wanted to be disappointed, but vexation filled him instead. Especially since his eyes lingered on the art that spread across the top of her chest, just below her collar bones that reflected a snake being tormented by an eagle.

How fitting, he thought.

"I never posed a question."

Severus paused for a moment, running through their conversation quickly, then posing a question of his own to cover his blunder, "Then what do you propose as a solution?"

---

The knock came before her question as she peered into Snape's office, "Now a bad time?"

Severus held his time alone dearly. It was the moment for reflection and for contemplation and making different concoctions was like his version of mediation. It was a safe haven that he rarely, if ever, shared with others.

Yet, as if knowing this, she entered after hearing silence as his response. She already went into talking, like she always had. She rambled on about something he hardly listened to as he continued on, but he stopped when he finally decided to glance up at her.

In her arms, she held various items all of which were clearly newly bought. There were vines hanging down to her waist while she balanced the spiced and dried goods. It was as if she'd come bearing gifts for him. He was quick to move and catch something that teetered on her forearm.  

"Where did you find this?" He tried to hold back how impressed he was once he read the label of the opaque bottle. It was an expensive item, one that many would begrudgingly give away.

"Mr. Mulpepper's."

"That is a dark place." He frowned at the thought of her wandering Knockturn Alley. No doubt, she could protect herself, but she seemed to gravitate towards the mischief.

"They speak very highly of you there."

He hummed as he began to roll up his sleeves in preparation. It wasn't the first time Severus had heard or been told she spoke about him. His students were the first to whisper about it, wondering about the nature of the relationship besides the professional one they required all due to the rumors she spread.

They were kind comments, nothing explicit. She talked of his intelligence, but also his ridiculousness. It aided in humoring the students, but as the handful of weeks went on it became a usual conversation topic. It made Snape's skin prick.

Severus was methodical in the way he finely chopped each plant she had to offer, his earlier concoction entirely forgotten and put aside. He could make out now which potion she was attempting to amend. He wanted to replicate her idea to see how it worked for himself, but there was no seed of doubt.

She was the reason for the improvement in his classroom. There was less time spent on silent stares after he posed a question and actual answers, suggestions, and solutions. Her cleverness reflected her intelligence, but it made Snape feel as though she'd be better off suited next to him and his fellow Slytherins. But having her close like she was now was enough for him to realize that desire was purely selfish.

"This potion does not require you to stand so close," Snape's voice was low, betraying how it had actually felt to have company other than students.

"I'm simply observing."

Her stance was firm, peering over his shoulder and watching just how delicate he was with his movements.

"You don't need a book?" The question was rhetorical in a sense as she asked it. It was just a way to acknowledge how awestruck she was by his fluidness.

"No."

His responses were always simple, but they became more frequent which she valued. Although she wasn't sure if they could consider each other friends, she accepted the unorthodox progress they'd made. She never shied away from him, even at the start, but the progress helped her bold statements stick and her actions more spirited.

"May I?" She reached over another question that held no respect for a response.

Severus went to protest, but when he felt her fingers on his own take hold of the mortar and pestle, his words got caught in his throat. The world of witchcraft and wizardry was something Severus well understood, he needed to in order to exist and exceed within it. However, the feeling that traveled like a spark from his fingers to the pit in his chest couldn't be explained by the world around them.

"I heard you were chaperoning the Yule Ball," She started tentatively, hoping the two could carry a conversation longer than a few seconds.

"Correct."

He watched her every movement. He wanted to step in, and take over again as her eyes were on his as she measured by feeling. But as he was further learning she had an innate ability to pick things up. Just the other day Severus saw how the students invited her to a practice of quidditch and he noticed how it seemed like she was letting them win.

After a few rounds, though, students grew more confident and bold in their game, making her balance questionable. He told himself he wouldn't interfere, but it started to look dangerous. With the slight help of a spell he whispered, she hadn't landed as harshly as she was supposed to.

"I am as well," She gave him a soft smile that caused a quick swirl to appear in his chest, but it faded just as quickly when she added, "Lockhart invited me, told me how it's pointless to go without company.”

"You'd be better off going alone." It came out as a criticism, but it was meant as cordial advice.

Finally, though, he was able to hear her laugh directly. It was fleeting, more like a quick breath out the nose, but it was a laugh. His eyes broke from her tattoo covered hands to her face to see if there would be a remark otherwise.

"He's not all bad now, is he?" She joked lightly, the potion finally resembling a color the two recognized as correct, "He means well most of the time."

"I believe you are too kind to him."

"Perhaps." She mulled over the thought. She wasn't unfamiliar with the comment, it was one that followed her most of her life and offered her the most consequences.

However, Severus wasn't one to withhold his opinion. It was usually one that held validity.  Meaning now, as she poured the mixture into the small glasses she'd set aside, it was something she'd take into consideration.  

As expected, there was just enough for the two professors that collaborated to make it. She wafted the scent, making sure it was adequate enough to ingest. Severus was still taking a moment to catch up to how quickly the blend had been made and now left only one option before him.

"Come on, then," She instructed as she held the dark compound for him to accept, "You're going to have to learn to trust me at some point."

[husbandohunter]

Moments of Despair #1 [Genshin Impact/Diluc x Reader]

Synopsis: “The man who was on fire and realized it too late.”

(A series of works where the boys deal with the passing of their beloved).

Albedo's despair

Warnings: angst, tragedy, major character death, graphic depictions of violence perhaps

(A/n): Had these ideas for a while after reading @/serensama To Mourn series of another fandom. So much sorrow and feeling I just was inspired to write 😫

_______________________________________________

The moment you fell lifeless in Diluc's arms, he wanted to disappear.

It was raining again, he had always despised the rain. How it trickles down the slope of your cheek, like tears falling from the heavens. The sight of it mixing with your blood creating a thin stream of red rivers flowing beside him. They patter down obnoxiously because time didn't care, the gods don't care, the world didn't care. You were just a small fragile person to their eyes but to him you were his light. A candle that used to shine in his dark world was now dissipitated by the waters of reality.

Many droplets have passed and he was still holding you. Diluc could do nothing but stare. He hadn't shed any tears nor could he make a coherent sound. Perhaps it was because his tears have long run out when his father was held in the very same way. Or it was because he was heartless. He's usually told for being cold and indifferent. But the pain clenching in his chest was proof that he still had one (proof that it was still beating), much to his dismay. It would be better if he didn't.

So why can't he just look away? Your wounds, your bruised features, everything now etched so deep into the back of his conciousness that is was starting to awaken his worst nightmares. They were the source of the bile growing in his stomach. The irony stench filling up his nostrils felt so sickening. He couldn't turn away. You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. As if reality had yet to register, or maybe he refused to accept it, Diluc helplessly gazed down your body with blank and empty eyes.

"Master Diluc..."

Jean's voice called out to him pitifully. He rises up with his back turned, ignoring the stares given to him, "Leave. The knights of favonius are not needed here."

"But she's a Mondstadt citizen," The anemo user retorts, slightly taken aback by his impassive reaction, "It's my responsibility to ensure this case doesn't go unnoticed."

Unnoticed. Diluc scoffs in his mind, what a tasteless joke.

"It seems you weren't listening," he announces as his head was turned ajar so they could see the deep hatred glowing red in his eyes, "Leave. Now."

Jean's lips trembled before barely being able to say, "Alright" and retreating her knights back to the city. Kaeya narrows his gaze at his bother, the sorrow was evident through his pupils. He steps forward until he was arms length away from his brother. Too little too late, another failure was added to the belt.

Kaeya was a man of many words but for once he was at loss of what to say. No underhanded suggestions, no ideas taunting him to spill his thoughts, he simply asks Diluc, "What are you planning to do now?"

Silence. Kaeya couldn't predict what sort of expression his brother was making as he looks at your corpse. It brought a heavy weight of unsettlement upon him and here he thought he had already grown used to his brother's quietness.

Slowly, he turns around while letting the water pour down his face. Kaeya tightens his jaw as Diluc drags his feet towards him, stopping when their shoulders were parallel, "It's none of your concern."

"You're just going to leave her here?"

There was a slight pause which was enough of an answer. The Cavalry Captain sighs when he watched him walk away, what was the point of asking when Kaeya knew Diluc so well? He glances at your form before swiftly shutting his eyes.

It was his concern.

-------

A week later, the staff of the Ragnvindr household could hardly recognize their Master's appearance. They knew not to bother him when he decides to lock himself in his chambers. Diluc drowns himself with work from hours to no end as he connects the findings of the person that took your life. As expected, it was one of his enemies- a fatui member. The question was, which one?

"Master Diluc, I beg of you, please take care of yourself," Elzer pleads.

The pyro user didn't bother to spare him a glance or look at the tray of food he carried.

Food...you always brought them whenever he had to work overtime.

"I do not remember specifiying anyone to be allowed in my office," he voices aloud, "If it's related to business affairs simply leave that with Adelinde and I'll take a look at it tomorrow."

"I understand. But you've been working all day and night yet refusing to take any breaks in between. At this rate, you'll harm your health."

The feather pen in his grip kept dragging it's course, "This is beyond the duties assigned to you Elzer."

"That's because it was a request sent by your father," he adds, knowing that stepping over his boundaries may cost him, "If Master Crepus was still here, I'm sure he would have said the same thing."

Taking a deep breath, Elzer lays out his last card, "And also your wife."

The pen slows into a halt.

No one had brought you up until now. Elzer anxiously watches his Master shifting in his seat, his red bangs covering half of his face but he could still see the frown pressing firmly on his lips. It wouldn't be a surprise if Diluc suddenly bursted at him for mentioning such a sensitive topic, all that matters was his master's well being and Elzer was willing to risk everything for it. But nothing. Diluc turns his attention ever so slightly at the tray he carried.

"Fine, but I'm not eating that."

"What? Wasn't this was her favourite-"

"Do I need to repeat myself?"

Elzer furrows his brows before sighing, "...No, Master Diluc."

He exits the room while carrying the fresh dish of Once Upon A Mondstadt that you loved so much. The door closes with a soft click and he was alone again.

People found it strange how Diluc seemed so vacant to your passing. He didn't even show up at your funeral. Instead, he continues his duties as a Mondstadt nobleman like usual while taking care of business matters associated with the winery. Except those who were close to him could see the difference in his actions. Apathy, he was so mechanical in every task he did. Like a marionette attatched on strings, a doll without a soul. After all, his soul died the moment when yours did too. What remains was a shadow of Diluc and a being existing solely for revenge and duty. He was nothing but a remnant.

Fatigue begins to wash over him and he fights to stay awake. Because once he gives in it will all be over. Once he closes his eyes, he would see your face with a multitude of images from the past. He would hear your voice calling out his name from a distant space as it echoes off the walls of his mind. He would fall into a dream where you were still with him and as always, waking up to see that it was never real.

I should have pushed you away.

Because what hurt Diluc the most wasn't that you were gone, rather, it was how you were still here.

Then you'd still be-

Something breaks and it turned out to be the pen he was holding so tightly. Only now Diluc realized how fast his heart was thrumming as beads of sweat began rolling down his forehead. Focus. Don't waste time. He won't grant himself the liberty of anything when your murderer was still on the run. Every wound they inflicted on you was going to be returned in tenfold. He'll make sure of it. That's why, he refuses to think about you at all. Diluc occupies his mind with other matters since at this point, work was the only efficient method of keeping his sanity in tact.

She needs you to focus.

The door opens and Kaeya enters the room while holding a document, "We found the guy."

His reaction was immediate, "Where?"

"Hm, now that we meet, it's actually quite debateable," The captain notes wryly, "When was the last time you've gotten proper rest?"

"I don't have time for this, either you tell me or I'll do it by force."

Kaeya couldn't help but sigh, "Apologies but you don't seem to be in any state for a fight. I'm sure you know how it would end up if you were to face your enemy right now."

"..."

"Diluc, this isn't healthy," Kaeya asserts, it's been a while since he sounded so sincere, "I'm not here to prevent you from doing what's necessary however, perhaps it would be better if I finished it in your stead."

"No," Diluc stubbornly answers, "Hand that over."

"...Heh, then there's really nothing I can do to stop you it seems," he whispers with a sad smile, "At the very least, be careful."

"I intend to," The pyro user snatches the paper parchment out of Kaeya's hands before opening the window, "Also, if Elzer returns, tell him there's a few errands I have to take care of."

The night was a full moon and the sky was empty, Diluc leaps off the edge and disappears into the darkness. There was no telling of what could happen next. Since you weren't here, it was up to Kaeya to watch over him.

-------

The claymore dropped to the ground with a clang as it soaks up the blood of the fatui he just killed.

Diluc was tired, so tired.

He slumps down against the wall from pure exhaustion, all that adrenaline and hatred went up in fumes, leaving behind whatever was left in his heart: nothing. Two hours, not even that far from Mondstadt, the fatui hid in an abandoned building as he cowarded for his life. When Diluc arrived, he never expected this monster to be so weak. This was the person who murdered you? A pathetic nobody that was simply following orders? This was the reason why he lost you forever?

In the end, the only one to blame was himself, for being weak and unable to protect you. He was supposed to be your hero ("Darknight hero," you'd always tease), the rock that shields you just as you had been the warmth he longed for many years, did he give you enough? Was this enough? He thought avenging your death would grant him a peace of mind and the justice you deserved but deep down, he knew it will never be enough when it comes to his love for you.

"Diluc."

He closes his eyes, he hears your voice. He was so tired, it wouldn't be a surprise if he started hallucinating.

"Diluc."

"I'm sorry..."

The man lets out a trembled breath as he apologized to the image of you in his mind. I'm sorry I failed you. They were repeated like a mantra in hopes to reach you somehow. Of course that was impossible, his feelings, his emotions, love and sorrow altogether will never reach you again. And your arms that once comforted him and brushed his hair with a soothing voice, saying everything will be okay, where are they now?

"Diluc."

"Stop," he didn't want to hear your voice.

"Diluc, I'm here."

"Stop..."

"Diluc..."

He jolts his eyes open and lets out a yell, what was he saying? He doesn't know. All he needed now was to drown out the fake voices mocking in his head. Diluc grabs the nearest object and shatters it against the floor, the dam was broken and it flooded uncontrollably, breaking everything in it's way. The abandoned house was filled with loud cries of a man sobbing with agony like a broken-hearted child. He crumbles to his knees and falls to his side, lifting his forearms while clutching his face.

And screamed.

Archons, what did he do to deserve this? Why do the people he cherish get taken away from him? Diluc never wanted to be the Darknight hero if it meant having his father perish in his arms. He didn't want the feeling of stabs against his chest with every breath he took. He didn't want to feel cold while knowing it was because you weren't here to hold him. He didn't want your voice, your pictures or your memory.

He wanted you.

"(Y/n)..." he chokes. Rolling to his back, Diluc moves his arms to cover his eyes, letting the tears run down to his ears, "(Y/n)..."

For who knows how long, he lays there in the abandoned building and mourns. Diluc doesn't have the strength to move from his position, he found himself staring mindlessly through the cracks of the roof when his voice had gone hoarse. The corners of his eyes still burned and his head was throbbing with so much pain. Maybe he should just stay here but the thought of being in the same room as your murderer was unfathomable.

Picking up his claymore once again, Diluc drags himself out of the door. Where would he go? It's not like he had a home to return to because home was when he was with you. A doll without a soul, the marionette moves as if the strings have commanded him to do so. Where ever it takes him, he didn't care. He just knew he had to go.